Please end me

I have a really good friend but she has a boyfriend. She knows that I like her, and she told me that she had feelings for me not much more than a year ago (I’ve fallen in love with her 2 years ago). At that time she had no boyfriend but I always was that socially fucked up person and couldn’t tell her. I eventually did 1 month ago. We both cried. We’ve been hanging out ever since this talk, but we graduate in a week and she leaves this city and I won’t see her for a long time. Her whole family, boyfriend and her university is in an other location so if she wanted to be with me she’d have to give up on her current life which I don’t think will happen.
The problem is that whenever she isn’t near me I feel numb and am eager to die. I have these suicidal thoughts even after a few days of not seeing her. I can’t imagine not seeing her for months. I have no purpose in life, all my goals seem dumb for me and I don’t have this feeling to pursue those. I just want to sleep forever, get me out of this place already.