Seriously considering killing myself

I have reflux laryngitis.I haven’t talked In three months because It makes my acid reflux so much worse-er than normal.I want to to learn sign language but It’s like for what,people bearly even know a second language.I communicate by spelling words with my hand,writing on my board & texting.I’m to damaged to voluntarily get help.The second I get In a car I’m going to be throwing up my guts out so I don’t know how I’m suppose to get help.I pray everyday & nothing changes.I’m not losing my faith but I already lost the will to live.I know that this Is not something I can pray this sickness away.I don’t know what to do anymore,there’s not much I can do.It feels like the only thing to do now Is to kill myself.