dad

This is going to be a hard truth/tough love response, so please don’t take it as any kind of attack on you, your situation, or your character. I mean no disrespect. I’ve just always been the type of person who would rather say an inconvenient truth than to tell half-truths because it seemed more convenient. Anyway…

I don’t believe that you’re either sad or happy. Based on what you’ve expressed I feel as though regretful and vindicated would be more accurate, and this is also why I feel that his dying process, now more than ever, is weighing so heavily on your mind at this time. Let me tell you something though… You think that however many years you’ve felt the way you do about him has been hard… Think about how much the you’re going to be eaten up, over the duration of your life even after he has passed, knowing that the time you did have left was wasted because of your Ego and Pride. Yeah; terrifying thought isn’t it? You need to let all of that go. That doesn’t mean forget a single thing; mind you. That simply means that you have enough self respect for yourself not to carry all of the things you can not change around with you, and to prevent the things you could have changed but didn’t from occuring. Forgiveness is not about the other person. When you forgive someone you’re doing it for yourself. I know in my heart you do not feel proud for saying “He deserve all the pain that he’s getting now…”, and you’re not going to convince me otherwise. Stop letting the past compromise your moral perspective on human decency.

Mmmkay… I’m done ranting now. Again… nothing, at all, was meant as an attack on you, your actions/words, your experiences, or your character. I’ve got a less than perfect ol’ man myself, so I totally get it. I had to fight to do the very thing I expressed to you, and forgiving him has probably been one of the top 5 things that I’ve ever done to make my life better.

You’re a being filled with light. Just let it go so that you can shine.

Remain Blessed, -Kev