I’ve been using this app for the past year or so that lets you communicate anonymously with people in your city (mostly other students around my age), and I was on it almost every single night for at least an hour, because I could talk about things, good and bad, and people would listen that basically lived just around the corner. It made me feel less alone, even though it technically didn’t really change anything. It has become routine for me to chat on there at night before going to bed, ever since my breakup, because at night I tend to feel the most alone.
Today I deleted the app and my account, because I feel like it prevented me from getting real friendships with real people by making me feel okay with how my situation is, even though the truth is that it isn’t. I can’t hide from it by letting myself be consumed by an illusion and numbing my social needs like that.
I don’t have anyone else to talk at night, to just share what happened during my day, to listen to their voice. It feels crushingly alone, but I have to get through it somehow. It’ll be like this from now on, and I better accept it.
I catch myself looking through my phone to find a way to get contact with some other human being, but there’s nothing left. So yeah, this post is kind of the compensation for that fact, since it’s my first night like this, and I have no one else to share my thoughts with. Thanks for reading, even though I don’t know who you are. Good night!
2 comments
Sounds like a good move! There’s an epidemic of social media based depression, and I think you explained why. People are lulled into false security with anonymous/online friends but that’ll never replace real flesh and blood people. And the problem is the virtual friendships make us more and more socially inept in the real world.
I hope this forces you (in a good way) to try to make real connections. I’m in the same boat, I don’t have any real world friends, but at least after I deleted Facebook I’m noticing I make eye contact with strangers more often and even strike up conversations. It’s a start. Good luck to ya!
… But how is being here any different? o.o
… And where do you go to find new people to talk to and be friends with…?
How do you know they’ll be anything like you or at least won’t judge yoy for who you are and what you like…?