I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make things okay for you.
I’m sorry that I haven’t helped you ad much as you need.
I’m really trying to help.
And I’m sorry you don’t know what’s going on with me.
But I don’t want you to deal with my problems as well.
I’m sorry I can’t tell you how much I want to cut again.
How much I want to make myself throw up.
How I choked myself this morning until I couldn’t breathe.
How I look out the window and the voice in my head screams “Jump!”
How my mind seems to get more toxic by the day.
But I can’t tell you this.
Because you show me how you wrote down the number for the suicide hotline.
Because you tell me how you fell back into self harm.
And whatever you’re going through will always be more important to me than my own problems.
I’m not going to let you carry mine too.
So if I end up doing something stupid…
Please don’t follow my example.