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by robieli

I want everyone to know that you are all great people. You did absolutely nothing wrong. It was me who needed you, and I couldn’t stand it. You can’t want someone you can’t keep. Having a human being in your life to listen to you and to understand you is priceless. You can’t replace that with a phone, a car, or a house. I don’t know what I doing, I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know what I’m thinking. No one needs me, but I need them. It is hopeless, I can’t live like this anymore. I hate living. Everything that truly matters goes away, and you’re not present in your mind to either enjoy it, or stay away from the pain and desperation it causes. I have being alive, I have nothing that truly matters, and I was not born with the proper mindset to get what truly matters. I was born to be a loser, I was born to suffer, I was born alone to be alone, and it’s not worth it anymore, I’m tired of trying. It’s a circle of pain, and I want to be numb. Whoever can find happiness with whom ever, you should be happy and proud of yourselves, and I hope nothing stands in the way of that, because it is so necessary, yet so rare. I’ll never have it, some others will never have it, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have it. I know you will be happier without me trying to suck the kindness and compassion out of you. You should share it with those who can give it back. I wish I knew how to love like the others around me. I wish I could be what you were to me. Knowing that I can’t, it breaks my heart, and I feel guilty, and ashamed. I am nothing, I’m nowhere, I’m nobody. I never was anybody, because I could never be somebody to someone. I’m tired of being something I’m not. I’m tired of being something nobody wants. I am a waste. I should have never been born. I was never meant to exist. I am a bother. I just wanted to feel someone else’s pain instead of my own. I never had that tool. I couldn’t feel anything naturally, because I wasn’t born to do so.

 

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Lifelong Loser 8/21/2018 - 7:48 am

This is exactly how I feel… I could have written this myself, almost word for word. I’m sorry that you are stuck in a life not worth living, just like myself.

I’ll be exiting this stupid, pathetic world soon… I hope you find peace. I hope we both do.

fakehappy 8/21/2018 - 8:43 pm

“I’m a freeeak, I’m a weirdoooo. What da hell am I doing here, I don’t belong here “sorry I had to break into song because I want to make you laugh a litte but also I really feel this too… This in itself is feeling, it’s not nice or pretty but it’s pain and there’s so much to learn from times of pain. We have to hope.

annon111 8/22/2018 - 3:29 am

Bold of you to assume I am a great person 😉 If I am then you must be too tbh. I think we are all the same. The person you’re writing this to seems like they accepted you for who you were and didn’t want any more than what you had to offer, so don’t feel guilty. Sometimes we can’t see what we offer because our views of ourselves are so distorted by pain and self hate

Feiyuin 8/24/2018 - 8:01 am

yeah we’re all losers in this world that want’s to die too

some of us are just too scared to do it. but dude it’d a little unfortunate if I left a typo in my last essay, my teacher would hate me lol.

lostallhope123 9/2/2018 - 6:44 pm

I could understand how such a life feels like. I feel exactly the same way except that I have people who love me dearly and I also have people who I love. But well, that doesn’t matter – when you are feeling lost, empty, worthless, tired of trying and pretending, and want to give up. this world doesn’t understand us, some of us are born to feel this way. we can never truly find happiness in anything no matter what we do or what we have. It’s not our mistake to be born in this world, there is nothing wrong if we choose to give up.

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