I’ve got a chronic problem with other people. Mainly in that they exist. But more specifically, I don’t believe that most people know all that much about themselves. Everybody’s just wandering around a dark room with no conception of how big or how small they are, no idea what they’re capable of, and surprisingly enough, generally no recognition of why they do what they do. I’m sure I’m no exception to this, but that’s not really the point here. I can only glean an understanding from relating my own experience to what I see in other people. The problem is this; I notice it when other people act incongruously to how they appear to think of themselves. Someone might think they’re honest, the most dedicated and hardest worker at their job site while spending a majority of their time gossiping about how lazy the people who are actually doing all the work are. Someone might think they’re the worst kind of monster while spending a majority of their time helping little old ladies cross streets and nursing sick orphan kittens back to health for a local no-kill shelter. The second category isn’t a problem for me, although they can be frustrating to deal with sometimes. The first category makes me want to tear my hair out and bash my head against a wall. I don’t do gossip. I don’t abide by it, don’t care about it, don’t want to hear it, and I think it’s something people do when they really don’t know what else to talk about and are afraid of quiet spaces. I like quiet spaces. They’re less stressful and usually not full of static.
But more and more, I’m only encountering people in the first category in my daily life. It’s not specifically people at work, but everywhere. The backbiting, nails-on-chalkboard gossipy folks who seem to spend a majority of their time complaining that so-and-so is lazy, stupid, gross, etc… all the while doing all of the things they complain about. I have to get along with these people somehow. It’s building up to some kind of critical point where I might start going off on them at the first hint of ironic griping. A few people in particular. I don’t really know how to handle this sort of thing without blowing up like a pointless firecracker under a soda can. I’m stuck in short-term thinking as a general rule and have impulsivity issues. It’s isolating and infuriating and depressing all at the same time. I usually stay aloof and watch people to get to know them before I feel comfortable dealing with them on a personal level, and my circumstances really don’t make that strategy very easy. Almost everybody is a problem person, or I can’t spend enough time watching how they are with others, so I can’t form any sort of opinion about them, making me constantly aloof and wary. The longer this goes on, the more I’m stuck living inside my own head, the less sense I seem to make when I do step outside that cramped space between my ears. I’m worried about the long-term effects that might grow out of living like this.
Also, if none of the above made any sense, sorry about that. I apparently can’t brain the words and the things too good at the moment.
6 comments
I know exactly what you are talking about, as I’ve experienced it many many times in basically all the jobs I’ve worked in! Lol .It’s like people get bored with the everyday routine and they just want to gossip and/or create drama to keep them entertained. People create alliances and just gossip and hate on other people for no apparent reason, jealousy maybe? Who knows. My last job was the worst I’m male and sometimes I think men gossip more than women, I was working with this one guy who was the biggest hypocrite in the world he complained about other people’s actions while he did the very same thing, only worse! But you will go crazy trying to figure out people’s motives and intentions if you think to much about it, people just like being hateful and malicious towards each other for no reason. When you work somewhere understand that these people are NOT your friends and don’t never ever ever speak about your personal life, you are just giving them ammunition to gossip about.Go there do your job and go home, that’s it. Don’t open up to anyone about anything in your life, just keep it professional. I really do hate people
Ha.. yeah, that sounds about right, actually. I just about told one of the problem people off tonight – came inches from doing it until a supervisor waltzed by. My problem is, I don’t get why anyone would want to make themselves miserable while also making their coworkers hate them in the process? I figure we’re all pretty much miserable already, so might as well not make things even worse for no good reason. I feel like a freaking babysitter half the time.
Hey at least you tried in words. All I can say is some folks will shoot the sh*t until your ears fall off
You have no control over what other people think, do or say. The only entity you can control is yourself.
Some people say that life is a test, and you’re being graded on the external stimuli you’re forced to encounter/deal with.
No magical words of wisdom here. You’re sharing a planet with The People of Wal-Mart; how will you be graded in the post mortem life review?
(Pretend God is a mystery shopper at Walmart).
If I’m only in control of my own actions, I should definitely bring a camera to capture those glorious people-of-walmart moments. You might have meant that as a joke, but it’s actually spot on. I doubt any of my coworkers would hold it against me for turning them into memes. I could call it, People-of-Dingy-Factory.
Yeah just don’t fall into their pointless projection. I think that’s the worst thing about people who refuse to reflect on themselves and are tied up in situations that make them so bored they have to act that way. They attract likeminded people and often people who are not able to stand against so they fall into it too. It’s contagious toxicity but just be aware that judgement says more about them than you. It puts them in a cage of their own creation to avoid the crippling reality of themselves.