I’m into The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins on and off these days. It presents this interesting idea that we humans, and all other macro-organisms – animals, plants, birds, fish, insects – are just temporary, short-lived vessels to be used by long-lasting genes in their journey through billions of years. We are only containers that have evolved from the primeval soup that was the first habitat of ancient genes, only to serve the same old purpose – transport the genes to next generations. They are the star cast and we’re not even the extras – we’re fucking props on stage.
The reason why I thought this is relevant here is that it can make the decision of letting go a bit easier and totally justified. If only we could break our emotional bonds and our egotistical values, and see ourselves as biological machines manipulated by our genes, then our self-harm can rise above social stigma and become a revolt against the tyranny of our genes, especially if we have not reproduced yet because that is the primary selfish interest of our genes.
I know this is not the intention of the book’s author but I can’t help using it as my excuse. I guess I’m too desperate to give some fucking meaning to my ‘cowardly’ exit.
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Thing is though, if you think about it that way, either suicidal ideation is a product of misfiring biology, or there’s some potential genetic advantage to it. For example, if a member of a family group finds themselves unable to function long term, it could be genetically advantageous to the group for them to remove themselves, freeing up resources for others and avoiding the spread of depression. Elderly members of some tribal groups used to go off alone to die once they realized they were about to become a burden. Genes can operate on a family group level rather than always selecting for individual survival (which is why acts of self sacrifice/altruism are a thing.)
Either way, it’s not like ‘you’ are able to rebel against your biology. ‘You’ are a product of your biology, the experiencing of it’s interaction with the environment (including the reading of popular science books & suicide websites).
You’ll think what you think, feel what you’ll feel, and do what you do as a result. Hopefully in accepting that you’ll suffer less along the way. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of any meaning you derive from your end. I just think the perspective is a little skewed.
I like to think that suicide is the expression of genes activated by the environmental conditions we find ourselves in – that our genes literally reject this stupid misbegotten world and everything it represents. I know, it’s kind of far-flung and fantastical, but it puts a smile on my face.
As humans we are autonomous, thinking actors and can rise above blind Darwinism. Indeed, it is a mere matter of time until a general self improving AI is created. And once this happens, then there is truly no limit to what humanity can become. Ancient genes and Darwinian evolution will be irrelevant as such slow, primitive processes cannot compete with an intelligence that can rewrite itself trillion times in a blink of an eye. What took the clumsy, coal based chemical processes eons, the digital intelligence will achieve in a nanosecond.
Carbon based lol
“What’s the problem boy? You’re tall, handsome, and intelligent.”
“My awesome genes won’t let me kill myself.”
“They seem to be deluded with the idea that if they preserve themselves, some thing will be along. If only I could tell them that I’m actually quite insane and that this is not the case.”