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flashback

by undoubtedly

you were not even 13 years old when you planned your suicide. you were not even 15 years old when you seriously attempted your suicide.

i am here to tell you, younger me, that i am glad you are still around.

think about your mama. what would she feel like in this very moment, in these past few weeks when she has felt so low, if you were gone?

you were practically still a baby when someone touched you, a bad touch, a touch you didn’t like or want, and it made you feel so tainted.

listen to me. that is not what boys do when they like you. that was not your fault.

oh, my sweet little self, stop your crying. i know it hurts to see his face in the halls at school even to this day, but soon you’ll never go back there. you’ll never see him again.

you busted blood vessels in your knuckles with your teeth, scarred your skin thousands of times, ripped your hair until you had bald patches. you have been screamed at, spat at, hit, hurt, but you are still here.

you are still here.

you’ve got to stay, even when you don’t feel like you have anywhere you belong.

stay, stay.

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3 comments

anonymousie 11/10/2018 - 9:37 pm

i loved this. you are not alone. i am so proud of you for realizing how much you deserve to live

day2day 11/10/2018 - 11:46 pm

Sorry this happened to you-but we live in a cruel world. Even now we allow people to be homeless. All we can really do is look after ourselves and those closest to us. If we had good leaders, they’d make sure such things wouldn’t happen but the elites only care about themselves.

I can’t comment on your home situation, all I can say is that I wish someone was there to protect you. If I was in your shoes I’d report on this individual to get them arrested/jailed and that might offer you some solace for what’s been done to you.

darkwillow 11/11/2018 - 5:41 am

Hey there. I’m sorry your last was so dark. If you ever need or want to talk to someone, my email is devinbelver at Yahoo. I’m glad you’re still alive. You deserve a happy life, even if everything seems so dark.

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