It’s been a year since my last attempt, i thought i would eventually forget about it if i kept my mind on other things, no matter how happy i felt there’s something that isn’t right. Being happy just felt so wrong, i don’t even feel sad, im just.. tired? I can’t even afford to feel sad when someone dies, it just makes feel jealous.
Well it seems that depression really is a *****, it’s been a year and it still wont leave me alone, maybe it’s because of my surroundings? Maybe im just entirely unlucky, perhaps im just ungrateful. I probably lost something last year that made me feel numb. I always carry a small bottle of rat poison with me wherever i go, sometimes i feel curious thinking to myself “maybe i should just do it?”… But in the end my corpse would just bother everyone.
Hopefully i got stabbed by some random guy so i wouldn’t be a victim to fucking suicide.
2 comments
Sorry you feel that way HB. It might be a bit risky to carry rat poison, if you get stopped by the cops they could think you want to poison someone else. Plus I don’t know how effective it is. It could also make you very sick and damage your organs and not succeed. There are better, less dangerous ways to go.
Have you tried seeing a therapist about the depression? It could help, perhaps they can prescribe some meds, I’ve heard some people here have had success with that.
Therapist is a no-go, i don’t want my family to know that i want to die. Guess i’ll have to suck it up till i get involved in some accident.