Happy birthday to me

Happy bday dude. The thing about finding the one, is your not looking for another. you think your looking for your other half, to some how complete who you are. Some find them easily, effortlessly and seem so perfect. So fucking lucky too. I think the secret is to really SLOW down for a minute. The loneliness thing sucks. holy shit, I know. But dwelling on it, and sitting in that proverbial shit pile only does one thing. It makes it worse, the shit pile gets deeper and deeper. Your soul is stuck in it. Desperation, turns to self anger. Because “you should be better!!!!!” or my personal favorite “WTF IS WRONG WITH ME!!??” The truth is, NOTHING is wrong with you. Deep breaths and slowing down finding the center of who you are and telling that part of yourself that you are just a thinking breathing part of this fabric of space time that was proofed into existence for some reason. Who knows, but you and I and everyone else are just the same thing experiencing this thing subjectively and objectively. ITs confusing, that’s why you and I and billions of others can get stuck. Stop. Breath, find your center, talk to that being and it will reassure you that everything really is bs, and that the point is just to enjoy the ride. IF you are not social, get social, you reinvent you. Find what you can handle and do it. you are going to have to fail many many times before anything happens, or you’ll get lucky and hit the tumblers right and that door will fly open and you’ll be like “HOLY SHIT I LIKE THIS ME!” that you is in YOU. Just gotta find him. IT took me a long time to find me, and you know what? sometimes I lose me, but when that happens I just do what I told you to do. I even write myself notes when i’m “UP” so I’ll find em when i’m lost. Its kind of an insane thing to do, but it works for me, may work for you. As far as “finding” a girl, that puts you in a desperation mode that can give off false signals and could result in “finding” a girl that you want to fit what you really need to connect with and it will fall apart. You need to search, being your true self. Its a HUGE fucking world even as small as it is, there will be someone that matches your quirks, your likes and dislikes. Its ridiculous to think that any one of us are SO unique that there isn’t someone out there that would connect with. Come on. Focus on you for the next 4 years, focus on your existence, YOUR goals, YOUR security, in that journey, I guarantee you will find exactly what your looking for, but it will probably just find YOU. Happy birthday, stay up homie. Stay on the ride, its just a ride, make the ride better. You got the controls, GO!