I often follow cases of suicide and the circumstances surrounding them. Once in a while, I come across someone who is similar to me. I often try to find what happened after they did it, what changed. Almost as if I die with them, but unlike them I get to see what happens after I’m gone. It’s comforting and twisted I think, but at least I’m not dead yet. They ended it, and that’s really dark when you think about it. Suicide is done by some of the kindest people you know, and you often do have to be a little kind to choose to hurt yourself over hurting others (we all have anger towards someone, dont we?). Whether we hate life, everything inside us only knows living. The first thing your body did before you even knew you were alive, was keep you alive. Only fair it should be hard to die. It’s sad to think I want this so bad and feels so good to imagine, yet reality is its destructive. Many would be happy, but the most important people to me would be broken. Can I live for them or die for myself?
So I often follow cases of suicide trying to see… if anything changed.