life isn’t for me

ive had enough, life hates me every fucking thing never worked for me. i wanted to get into a good uni, all my friends got in but me, i wanted a good major but now my major is stupid. i fight with my family about money and life is so fucking expensive i’d rather fucking die. i wanted to get a driving license but it got denied. i have to really beg for a ride even to uni and it fucking sucks . i dont think i really love anyone and the one person i love is too complicated and would leave any second. im living just because i cannot die. fuck food i feel so guilty when i eat and then i end up binging like a pig or never eating at all. i look at my face and i see something i hate. i just want to fucking die. and my phone fucking died and isn’t opening up and my fam are so mad at me for it too. why cant i just shut down like that and pray goodbye. i cut even tho i said im gonna stop and im so dizzy but i cant sleep because i dont want blood to get everywhere. this fucking life sucks because it’s so tasteless and i deserve nothing.