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Back in High School, there was this girl that i like, like A LOT or should i say I LOVE HER. She’s pretty good looking, athletic and the coolest girl that i know but she was out of my league, that’s the problem. I’m this skinny not good looking guy. Like I’m the complete definition of a NERD. But i didn’t care. I had to gather all this guts to prove to her that I can be the GUY for her. I want her to like me. I heard she had a boyfriend and then they broke up. I know it was a good opportunity for me but i don’t want to be that guy, you know what i mean. So i waited for months. Time come and i talked to her and told her what i felt. She told me that she ‘s not ready to have a boyfriend. So i told her that i can wait and i did my best for her to like me. What i did was I save some money even i have a lot of projects and school expenses but i didn’t give a fuck. I bought her chocolates, flowers, and shirts during valentines day and Christmas. I even come to her house to give her presents like cakes and stuff. I thought i’m doing good but i was wrong. I failed. I felt dead at that time. Like my life and world shattered.

Time passed, i get to realize that you cannot make someone love you. LOVE is not about giving or buying someone stuffs. Love is about telling someone you love her and if she doesn’t feel the same way, accept it. I get to the point where i realized that love cannot be rushed or forced. Love is about having someone who feels the same way like you do. I realized that i’d rather be alone for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong ones. I really love her. I LOVE HER STILL but her happiness is what matters most to me. After that, we went to college and i never felt the same feeling like what i have for her. She has a boyfriend now and i heard they’re doing good. I don’t hate her for that. I guess i couldn’t, ever. And i don’t lose hope that there’s someone out there for me, who will love me back as i much as i love that person.

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LostInside 5/16/2019 - 11:03 am

I think you have it figured out. Love isn’t about us possessing a person but wishing them to thrive. You couldn’t be more right, too, to not want to be with someone for the wrong reasons. You will ultimately find yourself void of any ability in that position and become utterly alone again.

Good post!

SkyButBlue 5/16/2019 - 11:16 am

Yeah, i’m thankful. I guess it takes time to realize some things. We still talk to you know, i guess it’s healthy right? as long as you’re not expecting something.

Gecko Moria 5/16/2019 - 11:09 am

This is a good post. I dealt with heartbreak at 15 but my problem was I never socialized so I spiraled out of control. I didn’t know how to handle it and ended up on an abusive relationship just to not be alone. I’ve had a pattern of staying with people that use me. It’s good you realized these things. Love isn’t easy. Loving is.

SkyButBlue 5/16/2019 - 11:18 am

Yeah i know someone too. He’s my friend. And How are you now? I hope you’re doing better.

WITHINtheShadows 5/16/2019 - 3:40 pm

@skybutblue

Hi
I know what you are feeling. I’m a nerd female and it was difficult for me too.
The best way to find love is looking for people like you bc you’ll share your time with the loved person and if you like the same things it’s easier to get on well besides physical attraction. And what keeps a relationship doing good isn’t only physical attraction, share ideas is the most interesting part.
A connection of minds and souls builds love.
Do an online profile in sites for relationship and say what you want and who you are. Being honest is a good beginning to find someone who can love you truly and you can love her too.
And another tip: it’ll take long so when you give up it’s the moment the righ girl will show up. Love comes when we are not searching desperately for it. But do your part anyway.
Good luck! 🙂

SkyButBlue 5/16/2019 - 5:19 pm

Thank you. I mean, i don’t think I’m looking for one right now but who knows right? I hope you found yours too.

muspelhem 5/16/2019 - 4:14 pm

It sounds like you learned the right lessons from your experience.

The mistake I (and probably many others) make is trying to be someone I imagine others will find attractive. So I would notice that the most popular guy in my class was good at soccer and try to become better at soccer myself. Or I would notice that popular guys worked out, so I would go to the gym myself. But not because I liked soccer or working out. Simply to become more popular. It didn’t work. I didn’t enjoy myself, I never got good at soccer, I never got ripped, it was just pointless torture. I’ve seen a similar thing with women. They will behave like a wannabe pornstar in bed because they’ve seen that and they know guys like porn, so they think they have to be that way. Or they know guys like big boobs, so they get fake ones which isn’t the same at all.

It’s probably much better to have the courage to do activities that make you happy, regardless of whether others find them cool. In the long run, being happy is pretty attractive.

SkyButBlue 5/16/2019 - 5:22 pm

I couldn’t agree more. And happy people are the best type of people. I mean, you wouldn’t want someone toxic to be in your circle right? But anyways, how are you right now tho?

LostInside 5/17/2019 - 12:14 pm

This hurts.
I’m completely miserable.
No wonder my life sucks!

SkyButBlue 5/17/2019 - 11:36 pm

Do you want to talk about it? No strings attach. I’m here to listen.

rocketman 5/16/2019 - 7:17 pm

Can’t Hurry Love

[Intro]
I need love, love
Ooh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
Someone to call mine;

[Chorus]
My mama said, “You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait”
She said, “Love don’t come easy
But it’s a game of give and take”
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes

[Verse 1]
How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength, ooh, it’s almost gone

[Chorus]
I remember mama said, “You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait”
She said, “Love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take”
How long must I wait
How much more must I take
Before loneliness
Will cause my heart, heart to break

SkyButBlue 5/16/2019 - 8:35 pm

Yeah I know this song. We sang this in 7th grade lol

rocketman 5/17/2019 - 8:24 am

Love is a degree of like! on a scale of 1 to 10.

One being, I like her I just don’t like her that much.

You fall in LUST the you fall into LIKE.

I LIKE LUST BETTER! 🙂

SkyButBlue 5/17/2019 - 11:38 pm

yeah no problem with lust? but at the end of the day when everything is at best or worst, don’t you want someone you love and love you back to be there for you?

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