Yes, you!
Tell me a story. Something made up. Something true. Funny, serious, absurd, allegory, a bad joke, a good joke, a dad joke… whatever. Tell me about the drunk squirrel that got into your fermented pumpkin collection. Tell me about the amoeba named Stan who ate himself. I’ll tell you my version of that story if I can remember how it goes. It was a good one, but I think I threw it away.
Who knows. It might kill some time, and maybe it’ll be fun. I dunno. I had to put up with family earlier, so if I don’t fall over drunk in the next few hours, maybe I’ll post something in the comments. Hic.
35 comments
I like writing. I don’t do it as much as I’d like to. I started a short story I call robot heart. I really need to work on it plus it’s not done but I can show you what I have so far.
It’s sad at the moment but I plan on making the ending happy. I just haven’t gotten that far hehe
Go ahead and post it, if you’re comfortable doing it.
*SCREAMING* “ahhhhhhh, I can’t take it anymore. Make it stop. I don’t want to feel.” Grabbing a knife she takes a deep breath. “So I won’t” following a few more deep breaths she stabs the knife through her heart and falls to the floor.
*one week later*
She opens her eyes. Everything is white. Beep beep beep beep. Looking to her left she sees a heart monitor. Beep beep beep beep. Inhaling sharply she sits up to get a better look around. “It’s… it’s…it’s a….hospital room.” A doctor walks in. “Oh good you’re awake. How are you feeling?” “Consious? Im not quite sure. What happened?” A sad look covers the doctors face. “Your mother said that she found you on your bedroom floor. Saturated in blood and a knife in your heart. She immediately called 911. By the time you were brought to me the knife had been removed but there was nothing to be done.” His eyes looked solemn. You can see he wishes he could have done more. “Then why am I here? This doesn’t make sense.” “When we went to tell your mother there is nothing we can do she begged with us. Saying there had to be something. So I told her there was one way but there is no guarantee it will work. She agreed. You…you don’t really have a heart anymore. It is robotic. You are the first human to try it.” “Ok” she said. “Do you feel anything? Anger? Sadness? What’s you’re opinion about it?” “I…I don’t have an opinion. It’s the way it is I guess. I don’t feel angry or sad about it” “Do you feel anything?” “No” it was then her mother came running into the room. Tears streaming down her face.
Being unable to feel anything can be just as bad as feeling too much. Not much of a comment, but I’m now a bit hungover and have to go to work early. It’s aspirin and eggs time.
That’s the point of it. It’s a story about me. I’m working on getting a therapist so I’ve never really been diagnosed but based on my actions and my own research I believe I have bipolar disorder and/or borderline personality disorder. My constant change of thoughts is a hell and I typically wish I could stop feeling although I know it won’t get me anywhere. Although if I can’t feel……what is there really to miss? Sure no happiness or joy. But I won’t be sad either. So I won’t be sad about missing happiness and therefore won’t miss it.
I think that’s how that would work.
It was my last day of work, and a couple days before I got to move to my own place. I was at a point where I felt tired of talking to the people around me, and tired of needing things from them.
I didn’t have a ride, but there was a bike. I knew the way from driving with everyone else, figured it would be simple enough. I didnt tell any one, just left for work an hour early. Walked a bit through the harvested corn field where the route intercepted the highway, but smooth sailing, got to work on time.
Shift ended at 8, thought it would be as easy going back. But somehow I made a wrong turn and a few hours later saw a sign for a town I knew wasn’t anywhere near ‘home’. To top it off it started to snow, albeit lightly.
I was cold, panicking a bit at that point, and with a flip phone I couldn’t look up navigation. I texted a faraway friend, asked if they could look up directions for me. They thankfully obliged, and kept texting me with updates. If you see a sign for Wonderly Collisions, there’s talk the Wonderly’s are cannibals (a funeral home is part of the family business-easy cover).
I got home at past one with a flat tire, and fell asleep in the living room in front of the faux fire place. Didn’t tell anyone nearby about why I was home late. They probably thought I got off later, plus they all went to bed early.
The next time I biked to a place of work, it was a straight shot so I didn’t have a chance of getting lost. But i really appreciated having that support when I needed it. I wouldn’t have called anyone nearby, probably kept going til I saw a bar i could go in, ask for directions. I didnt get a smart phone for another 6 months. One of the best features, and the one I’ll miss the most, is Maps.
I used to work with a guy who rode his bike into work every day. I’d pass him on the road occasionally during the autumn months and he’d swear up and down that he liked the exercise. Then it started snowing, and it snows like the apocalypse where I live. Two feet in a night isn’t unheard of, but we never got/get days off for snow emergencies unless it was/is so bad that the DOT couldn’t get the plows out of the hangers. So I was slip-sliding into work and saw this guy doing a yeti-dance towards the plant and I nearly plowed into someone’s yard trying to pull over without causing a pileup. He took a ride in my crapmobile that day. He eventually wound up getting fired because another coworker forgot to pick him up at his house one morning. The bosses didn’t play nice about missed days or tardy incidents. I have no clue what happened to him after that or where he’s working now. Haven’t seen him around town, so I figure he must have dropped sail to somewhere with better public transit. Your story kind of reminded me of that. Those were the days where I actually liked that job. That kid was a good guy. I don’t think I’d have stopped for many of my coworkers, let alone more than once. He was upbeat, but I could tell he was depressed beneath it. Birds of a feather, I guess.
The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am..
And earlier this evening, my new boyfriend said to me: “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”
“Good idea,” I replied. “That way we can cover more ground.”
Haha, good ones.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
How do you loose $400 gambling at a $2 blackjack table?
Patience.
Mine are cornier, though. >:D
Corny or not, they’re still funny. c:
So I had a dream last night that I was a car muffler, and y’know what? I woke up exhausted.
Now here’s an update on the new boyfriend situation: I invited him to the gym with me but then I flaked on him. I hope he gets the message that we’re not working out.
Heh…
I’ve been dealing with the loss of someone dear to me. And jokes kinda help.
PS. Have you ever wondered what happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence? Lemme tell ya… Udder destruction.
Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too. 😛
Hah, yeah, corny jokes can help with that.
At a bank: An old woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Best customer service ever.
rivets, I’ll write one later for you! 🙂
Story later got to paint
Here’s one of my corny jokes 🙂
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
Ha… I didn’t know they were still making Dick Cheney jokes. 😛
ILMAO!
I think I was temporarily insane last night. Dunno why I posted this, but it is nice to get to know you all a bit. I feel like an alien all the time and I suck at communicating – anything without a clear point or path makes me feel like a crazy person running through the jungle shrieking at birds or something.
Ah, but the power of beer compels me.
May I ask? Do you find alcohol helps? Do you actually forget everything? I can drink for hours. Be so drunk I can’t walk without falling on my face. Nope….I was so drunk I couldn’t crawl without falling on my face. And I can still feel. I still remember.
I tend to feel lighter and bouncier and more outgoing – three things I need after feeling heavy, lethargic and unsocial all day long in any other context. Then, in the morning, I feel groggy, gross, and mildly confused about how my apartment got to be such a mess.
After reading some of your comments and posts, I think you seem relatively normal to me. I don’t mean that in the, “Bah, a NORMAL…” sort of way, but for lack of a better word, normal. You seem human. Have you ever met anyone with a personality disorder or bipolar I/II?
No I haven’t…..umm i like talk talking to you…in a depression relating and comparing way I was wondering if you wanted to talk on fb and not blow up the comments lol plus I love cats hehe
Also normal I’m not…..It’s an act….I fear people here don’t like me so I don’t talk a lot but sometimes I do
No mas facebook, have whatsapp? I have to avoid facebook or my boss will hunt me down and post disapproving frowny faces on my non-conservative, non-redneck thoughts, and non-country-music-listening-preferences. The owner of the company would probably publicly shame me. Haha..
Fake account? That’s what I use….I’m actually on it more often then my actual account. I don’t have whatsapp….or anything else really….well email lol
To me, it just seems like you’re shy or uncertain. I dunno, I get that way a lot. I have ADHD which turns into me blabbing about nonsense and sounding like an idiot. I got it in hand, though – it’s all about trying to observe more than talk. Which is freaking hard to do sometimes. Then you have to seamlessly relate to people when you feel like a wonky malformed trapezoid and they’re like square holes two sizes too small. You can relate, sure, but what do you say? Doesn’t anyone know? I need a manual to spell it out for me or I’ll just ramble on about nothing for a while.
I tried the fake account thing, but then FB demanded I send them a drivers license photo with the name Blank Slate on it, so I photoshopped one and sent that in, but I guess they weren’t too amused because they deleted my account.
Omg I ramble all the time. And I won’t shut up. I’m an overthinker. Which is so much fun when you have depression (so much sarcasm)
Drivers license? Why would you need one of those? And what if you don’t have car? So only drivers can have Facebook now?
You can email me at thisisnotatemporaryemail at sharklasers dot com. It’s not a temporary email address that I’ll use to direct you to my actual email address. Really. That’d just be crazy. lol
Well, ID/drivers license, something to prove identity. I’m not making that up, either. They really do that if someone flags you as a fake account, or tells a moderator that you’re misrepresenting your identity. Or they notice your name is two words that aren’t actually names, I guess.
Emailed 🙂
Ok that last part is kinda funny. But I find weed makes me feel like that. All bouncy and stuff but I still feel. I jist can’t seem to get high or drunk enough to stop feeling..
Ok your kitty looks cute btw. Kinda like my June only grey.
Ah, Facebook sucks. A year ago they locked my personal account that I used only for connecting with family. I provided proof that it was my real name but they still closed my account. How stupid.
“A fool pours tapioca down a mine shaft, but a wise man wears a long sleeved shirt.”
– Glen Riley, homeless delivery driver, 1994