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I dont really feel anything

by Kisser

Maybe is more than a month sice i posted something here. Maybe anyone remember me, i dont care actually. I dont think anyone goes when i die. I ll just explain the title for now. I dont really feel anything anymore. Wrath, angryness, happiness or love, oh i almost forgot the most important one, pain. There was a week since i feel some pain in my heart what is bad. Bcs i dont feel anything, so there is nothing that i wll like…. right?
When i m with my gf i have some joy and im a bit happy. But is just for a moment. After i leave there it goes again. Dont feel a fuckin shit of emotion
I think thats pain is the best emotion bcs thats was the truly and strongest that i feel
I hope my heart stop or i die somehow.
But living in this way sucks
(Really sorry for my english, im brasilian and dont write in english too much)

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Cause of Death: Suicide 7/20/2019 - 4:11 pm

The only feeling I’ve ever really felt is an impending sense that I need to kill myself. (I’ve been sexually assaulted many many many many times since the age of 7.)

Ben777 7/20/2019 - 11:11 pm

I got you. There are some days I feel like shit, other days I feel a little better. But those days when there’s just a void are definitely the worst. I mean, feeling nothing is worse than feeling pain I guess. At least for me. I just don’t know what to do, walking around in circles, trying to find something to wake me up again. The pain seems to be easier to deal with. But I agree w/ you, living this way is awful. If I had to feel this way everyday I don’t think it would take much time till I go completely insane. Just a couple of days of emptiness is enough to make me wanna jump in front of a bus.

ps. I’m from Br too!

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