I really have to wonder why I am so sensitive. I’ve been a fat ugly cow for my entire life. You would think I would be used to the way other people treat fat pigs like me. But, I sometimes forget and think that maybe for a moment I could be treated like everyone else. I don’t like being fat, but it is just the way I have always been.
Today at work one of the other departments had pizza for lunch. They ordered a huge amount of pizza and there was a lot left over. The members of that department walked around the rest of the company offering everyone pizza. Everyone, except me, of course. Two of them had a full pizza each in a box and they were walking around offering it to other people in my department. They looked right at me and then looked away and walked around me to give pizza to every other person around me. I looked right at them with that look of “Yes, me too!” They then just walked away and gave me that look you get when you taste something bad. I looked away at that point because I am just so tired of seeing that same look from people. I just accept it. No point in making a comment to them because I would be the one in the wrong for breaking their social code.
I left at the end of my shift today and went out to my car and cried for a while. I am a dork for being so sensitive, but it gets me every time. I just wish for once in my life I could be treated the same for just one day. I wish for the looks of disgust to stop. I want people to stop turning away or moving away to avoid having to look at or even speak to me.
I envy all of you who know what it is like to be pretty and a normal size. I’m too old now to ever know what that is like.
7 comments
I’m sorry this happened. It must be frustrating for you. I don’t have any magic words or clever anything to say, I’m just sad that you have to deal with it and experience this treatment.
Thanks. Not frustrating, really. It just reinforces my position in life to me every day. Here in the U.S. we claim not to have a caste system, but I beg to differ. If you are not pretty and thin, you are treated as an untouchable. It is just another aspect of my crap life. How I wish it were over.
“Here in the U.S. we claim not to have a caste system, but I beg to differ. If you are not pretty and thin, you are treated as an untouchable.”
This is SO TRUE. Not just the U.S. but all over the world. It’s just extra hypocritical in the “civilized” countries where they look down their noses at the countries with caste/tribal societies. But it’s all the same.
It really sucks that you have to deal with that. It doesn’t help that everything in movies and tv reinforces that prejudice. Large people are comic relief while all the heroic roles go to the perfect Barbie and Ken doll actors.
I’m sorry I have nothing supportive or encouraging to say, but for what it’s worth you’re not being too sensitive at all.
I have a lot of friends that are over weight, funny thing about them they are the most considerate and nice people, these people at work your talking about are not! Always be glad that you are you and not them.
I know a bunch of people who are over weight and some of them are actually pretty. Being beautiful has nothing to do with weight, but with the simetry of your face. I am 28 yo and have always being thin but I have never had a boyfriend. Sorry I don’t know how to help you. I wish it was easy. Wish you the best
You both miss the point. There is no doubt that I am fat or ugly. It is a fact not up for debate. I never even had a date until I was 40, so that says it all. Not asking for help, just wondering out-loud why people are such assholes.
Sorry I wasn’t trying to help I don’t understand either, I have had overweight girlfriends and dated them.
Why people are assholes like that pisses me off as well. Your not alone everyone is surrounded by all kinds of assholes! I think they grow on tree’s!