I’m 52 soon. I used to be very upset that I didn’t get the life that most people I grew up with got (partners, children, career, friends)
I have learned to accept this. Of course I’m too much of a human wreck to work which I suppose I should be grateful for. I spend most of my time with distractions like reading watching documentaries and sport and chatting on the net. Still I feel that my life is empty and because I don’t work I don’t feel part of society, which is a horrible feeling.
I see the awful jobs people have to do and wonder how society carries on. We have created a finely tuned hell haven’t we? People spend most of their lives doing soul destroying jobs and they have to get up early every morning to slave away to sustain a life that’s barely worth living.
God knows how they do it.
There won’t be any sex for me. I have begun to see humans as pretty disgusting creatures and don’t want anything to do with them.
I expect to develop Alzheimer’s as I have lived a life of isolation and severe depression.
Thanks for reading this. I just felt I had to collect a few thoughts and write them down.
6 comments
Most of what you see is a sham. When I was young I always wanted to find a great girl, get married have kids. But now that I’ve seen how difficult it is, while you’re holding down a job, it’s not something I want. There is a lot of BS I don’t have to deal with that other people do, they become slaves to their family/career.
I think the best thing to do is escape the rat-race if you can, something I’m working on. Then you have your freedom and can do whatever you want like travel, sleep with whomever you want, you’re not tied down.
Also when you have kids, you have worries, you have to teach them everything and hope they don’t screw up their own lives. Plus any shortcomings you might have they’d get and come to resent you for giving it to them, like I’ve done with my parents.
Life is overrated. There are some great things about it but being able to end a bad life should be as easy as buying a burger or close to it. It’s nobody’s business but your own to live or not live. The govt should provide one with that option to get drugs that end your life quickly and painlessly.
I honestly don’t mind some suffering/stress, it’s needed to make one stronger, more humble and understanding of others. But if that’s all one’s life is about and there’s very little happiness then there is no point to be alive.
I truly wish I could get back in time and straighten myself out when I was younger so I could’ve taken better advantage of the opportunities I’ve had. Anyhow I’m doing what I can to make things better now. I don’t expect I’ll be around for more than 10-20 years if it doesn’t get too much better.
At least you get to enjoy your hobbies. I also am very miserable like you sound and definitely not a fan of work & society. I do relate to what you say, I enjoy your hobbies and I’ve also started attempting to pick up new hobbies like I’ve started to assume interest in writing my own books, thinking maybe it will hit a shelf one day and be passed along for others to enjoy.
Consider yourself lucky not working if you can afford it, after a day or two on the job you would say screw this! people for the most part work because they have too, I’m retired loving every minute of it, people sorry other people reading! 🙂 for the most part are disgusting, but can have their moments 🙂 I have my hobbies that keep me busy and friends I see when I want the nice thing is I can leave when I want, I spend a lot of time impressing myself, and I’m hard to impress so I have to really work at it! I love helping people that want or need help. These days people are all for themselves and will drain you dry, Selfishness is at a all time high I was around when it wasn’t I learned to deal with it.
I’m 23 and I see your life is so perfect in my opinion. Enjoy the isolation. Good luck. ?
If you can afford not to work, enjoy the isolation. Honestly, its so much better than the alternative.
You’re half way to the end of you life, and you speak like it taught you nothing. All you experience in life ended up being this paragraph, and it is a bitter sad expression of lonely soul. But while you see yourself as empty, God wants to see you as a fulfilled soul. This is the time to think about what your life has been. You will spend your life in misery and die in misery and be raised in misery to die in the misery of the lake of fire, why do that to your own self? God wants you to be happy but you’re bent on being despaired and broken. 52? How many have reached that far? Find life friend, it doesnt have to be what you’re making it. You will regret this, I promise you, you wasting your life like this will be your tears. Think of Jesus, shut the world out and think of life.