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Six months later

by wearehannahbaker

I haven’t been on this page for six months. I guess you can say things were going better and yes, I’ve had some good times. I’ve traveled, I have a boyfriend now, my meds have been working, my relationship with my family is ok… But there’s always a catch.

So here’s the real adult problems that we have to face and people can see: big decisions ahead (I need to get a Masters degree and money is a real issue), I have to a get a better job, make my relationship work or finding a new one.

And then there is the pain that we go through and don’t tell almost anyone: feeling lonely and lost in my relationship, missing motivation in work, not finding the strength to come near my decision-making.

Anxiety is running wilder in head as time passes by. I want to break up with him but then I don’t. I wanna move again and start all over but then I remember it’s not that easy. I need to get into a good school but I feel overwhelmed and nervous that I won’t get in.

Luckily (or not?) I’m not having suicidal thoughts and that might be because of my meds but I still feel the weight on my shoulders and the urge of giving up.

4 comments
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4 comments

FarTooLong 10/20/2019 - 9:51 pm

Glad to hear life is going better
for you (compared to the last time you were here). May I ask which meds have helped you?

wearehannahbaker 10/20/2019 - 10:13 pm

I’m taking 25 mg of Seroxat CR every day. (and thanks)

Cause of Death: Suicide 10/21/2019 - 3:11 am

You should break up with him, Iā€™m sure he is weighing you down and a relationship at this point in your life is meaningless because you are so young.

beautifulsinner 10/22/2019 - 2:06 am

i get the stress of school, im in school right now and its tough. but do you REALLY need that masters? will it make your mental health worse? can you do it as a part time student? and your boyfriend, if there is any doubt in your mind that hes not the one then drop him. i know, easier said than done and it will be tough but maybe that will lift some of the weight off of your shoulders. i wish you the very best

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