I haven’t been on this page for six months. I guess you can say things were going better and yes, I’ve had some good times. I’ve traveled, I have a boyfriend now, my meds have been working, my relationship with my family is ok… But there’s always a catch.
So here’s the real adult problems that we have to face and people can see: big decisions ahead (I need to get a Masters degree and money is a real issue), I have to a get a better job, make my relationship work or finding a new one.
And then there is the pain that we go through and don’t tell almost anyone: feeling lonely and lost in my relationship, missing motivation in work, not finding the strength to come near my decision-making.
Anxiety is running wilder in head as time passes by. I want to break up with him but then I don’t. I wanna move again and start all over but then I remember it’s not that easy. I need to get into a good school but I feel overwhelmed and nervous that I won’t get in.
Luckily (or not?) I’m not having suicidal thoughts and that might be because of my meds but I still feel the weight on my shoulders and the urge of giving up.