I don’t like to talk a lot. In school or out. I have 3 friends because I pushed everyone away and now I don’t know how to talk to people. My parents are so focused on me not smoking that they turned the house into hell. I feel like i’m constantly under attack. When I walk home I get scared to talk to my family. I can’t tell if i’m happy or sad or scared or angry but I know i’m breaking someway. I so bored with my life that I want to kill myself just to have something to do. I can’t focus on school or people or anything. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I just want to go back to middle school. It was the last time I was content with my life and everything about my life. I just want some type of relief.
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I can relate.
The older I’ve gotten the less I understand myself and the world thats around me. I have a basic routine of getting up going to work coming home going to bed. I have no friends, and everyone outside my bedroom door is considered a threat an obstacle or just a stranger. I feel empty. Like on Auto pilot. I’m 25 and my youth is gone. I miss alot of my younger days when I was recognized by someone…