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On asking for help

by tentoone

What kind of person criticizes you for finding it difficult to ask for help, emotes anger and frustration with you for not coming to them, then rejects you when you finally work up the courage to ask?

And, if you have the nerve to remind them they said you should ask, are offended that you would bring up something like that and throw it in their face to make them feel bad.

What kind of person accuses you of expressing genuine pain as a means of hurting them, instead of asking you what’s wrong?

People don’t ask for help for the same reason they don’t seek love and companionship. Rejections hurts so much more than loneliness. Having someone confirm you are, in fact, unworthy of those things.

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WickedApparition 12/2/2019 - 1:07 am

“What kind of person…”

Well, the thing is, ths nature and value of the “-ship” (E.g. friendship, relationship, partnership, or any like word ending in “-ship”) has to first be understood before that answer can be formed.

A natural inclination would be for somebody to respond by saying, maybe, “A selfish one” or something else of that nature; however, like I said before that entirely depends on the dynamic of the situation.

If those things were to be said by a very casual acquaintance, well, it wouldn’t really be that odd. Now let’s put that and say it is somebody that knows you better than any other and you can clearly see that’s quite different.

A lot of times people don’t realize that most of the people they’ve surrounded themselves with are known as ‘Ambivalent “-ships”.

Ambivalent “-ships” are the worst kind you can have. This is a “-ship” in which the behaviors of the other cannot be trusted to be consistently supportive, and at times can instead be antagonistic. One day your they are complimenting you and praising your intelligence and the next they challenge your ideas, use secrets you have shared against you, or generally behaving the way a toxic individual would. This is not just confusing, it is truly dangerous as it can lead to other health issues. This type of “-ship” is even more damaging than a Toxic one, and is much more difficult to deal with because it is unexpected and your defenses are down.

Anyways, first identify all the people in your life and eliminate the toxic and ambivalent. I know you may think it’s cool to do but their intentions are not reciprocated, so you should not concern yourself with that. Your well-being is more important and dealing with nonsense.

JudgeMeNot 12/2/2019 - 12:21 pm

Yeah know matter how good or nice someone may pretend to act. Humans are false. Fucking self progresaive parasites. Trust knowone and worrie what and how you feel.

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