i cant handle the hallucinations anymore. they are lifelike now. they physically touch me now. they want me dead. they have this look in their eyes. they are going to kill me. i just cant do it anymore. i dont even know how to deal with it. where to start. i dont know who to ask for help. iv done research and research. the doctors know nothing. theyve been studying this since the 17th century and still know nothing. they know a bit about auditory but mine are visual. i just cant do it anymore!
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Perhaps see a counselor. A good one. One that knows the different medical professionals in your area and one that you can pour you heart out to. Perhaps there is also a spiritual connection to your illness.
I love animals and being alone ( with my dog ) in the woods also. When I walk my dog sometimes I see a rock or mineral that calls to me. I put it in my pocket–it helps ground me. I have so many rocks at home people would think I am a geologist!! I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the help that you need.
I started getting visual hallucinations. What are yours like? Mine, I guess come in vivid nightmares. I have been trying to commit suicide since 2006.
ever watch those horror movies where the main character is being chased and tormented? its like that 24/7
“vivid nightmares” are not the same as hallucinations. hallucinations happen when you are awake and control every aspect of your life. to compare them to be the same can be viewed as belittling.
Holy fuck that is horrific. A lot of us are going through some bad stuff, but not on the level of that.
That is intense.
If I was you Id see if I could get an exorcism. Seriously. I’d give it a try. Like you said the doctors know nothing.
that was kinda mean