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It’s 3:28 now.

by 15andfuckedup

Ik you’re trying but you gon’ve to try harder. Just keep going and one day you’ll be there. Stop thinking about the past. Forget it and move ahead. Once you reach there, you can reminisce about the past as much as you want. Just have patience and faith in yourself and you’re gonna get through this, alone and alive. You are brave and I love you. And I trust you.

Me at 3:00 am talking in the mirror, with wet eyes. After saying all this to myself, the first thing that is coming to my mind is a picture of my dead body. It’s a picture I’ve visualized so many times but this time it’s different… This time no one is near that dead body, it just lies all alone, just there, just like that. It’s good to not see my family crying over it but it’s sad to see that it’s there all alone, waiting to be burnt to ashes (burying the dead is not done here, instead the body is just burnt to ashes), still lacking the peace that it should’ve gotten immediately. Near that body, I can see my favorite Agatha Christie book and that’s it. So like the book is accompanying the body but like it’s still alone. Just like I’m here all alone using my marvelous psychic power (idk if that exists) and witnessing my dead body, inside my overly exhausted and fucked up head.

PS my chemistry teacher died earlier today. That kinda sucks but whatever. Everyone is dying but me.

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