I think this is the perfect outlet for what you needed to say. I grew up with racism so I know first hand how it can negatively impact a person’s life directly and indirectly. You were 100% in the right by saying something to your father, father or not. Sometimes family can hurt and damage you the most.. It sucks your stuck in a situation where you can not leave your father’s home. Have you explored all your options? I know there are a lot of support groups out there that help people in your situation. Take the time and do some research, I don’t know your exact situation on why you can’t leave for 14yrs, but I know there’s always an alternative to raising your child in a negative environment. I don’t think taking your life is the answer at all, especially since you have a child.. Do what it right for your child and make an effort to find an alternative solution. I know what its like to feel trapped and I know what its like to try and take your own life. If your tryinging to protect your child than killing yourself is not the answer. Believe me I know draining it can be to have to put on a fake smile everyday, I have been doing it all my life… There is a better option out there I promise..