Something I’ve never come to grips with and learned to work to my advantage merely because I don’t have the fucking patience and I don’t want to live in a world like that, I want to live in a world of people I identify with, is the fact that most people are so stupid that it’s hard to believe. Did god play some cosmic joke on us? I really don’t mean this as an insult, I really don’t: I know I’m not the only who to this day is still immobilized by the incredulity of it all; This is not how I saw life going. Is life supposed to be this difficult? Why is communication stifled at every turn? Do you see what I’m saying? If you do, you know, it’s something difficult to describe, isn’t it? It’s like a horror show. You can’t believe people are actually this stupid and this hard to deal with, I thought we were the same kind? I thought we were supposed to get along? I thought… I lost my train of thought again. Because I’m so often screaming into the void, that I’ve become… Like on autopilot. It’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone who could actually “wake me up”… (Does that mean I’m stupid?) Does anyone know what I’m saying? I’m detached from reality. It’s like I like I exist in a vacuum.
Back to the point… When I was 6, I was in a children’s behavioral psyche ward or something to that effect, and they had just handed out candy, and I got a blueberry sucker. I was playing video games in the corner when this one lumbering lady asked why my tongue was blue and started freaking out and contacted some of the other staff about it. Bro… Like…I know I’m not describing this well so it’s probably making me look worse, but take my word for it, she was really slow. And she was a medical professional. I don’t know.
I don’t know. It’s like my brain won’t allow me to say what I want to say here, because to do so would be to break out of the matrix. I feel like I’ve lived this moment before. I’m getting an intense sense of deja-vu right now. I think I kill myself soon. Point failed to deliver once again, nobody knows what the fuck I’m talking about. Congratulations to me. I can’t even retain my thoughts long enough to get them out coherently on a screen. Every time I try I just fail. I don’t even know what I’m talking about at this point. Fuck me. Fuck this pathetic post. All I need to do is get a gun.
5 comments
I do understand what you are saying all too well. I think they are programming people with the television they do have intense technology that they use for this. I have studied it and it is very real and I see the results now. When you can see the truth it makes you feel insane and not want to live in this insane world. A girl once told me that to be sane in an insane world is pure madness. People are really being brainwashed into stupidity and even to kill themselves. I refuse to watch the boob tube because im already so damaged I don’t need anymore help. Please don’t use a gun, my dad did that 8 months ago and it wasn’t pretty and it has made it very hard for us left behind even though I really wasn’t that close to my dad it still hurts very much. I do hear what you are saying and at least find comfort that you are not alone in this fucked up world.
Hi, perhaps it’s a question about dopamine? Life has always been about what one will eat next year, next month, next week; who we’ll reproduce with, etc. Now that it has become easy, we can stare into the endless abyss of mystery.
I say, perhaps if we reduced a little on the dopamine, the little things of life would seem interesting again, just like they seem to children, when everything is golden.
There is this video, please do check it out: youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk
So, the thing is that the more we do dopamine-rewarding things, the less motivation we feel to do everything else. I have been there, when I was playing 1 game for 1 month almost non-stop, and everything felt so hard, and I felt so tired.
If that’s what you want to combat, I have some resources which really help me:
getcoldturkey. com
And the “Olauncher” app from the google play store.
ColdTurkey is almost un-circumventable, which is why I love it. And the latter lets me see only the relevant apps in my phone.
Of course, it’d be prefearable that I don’t use Internet nor electronics, but Uni makes it necessary.
Please, do use these tools in order to gain a little distance from doing dopamine-heavy things, so that you can have a little more, clarity and focus in order to sort things out.
I once found all my future plans shattered, so I felt really disoriented and confused. I felt like a person drowning in the middle of the ocean. I felt a void inside because of the lack of meaning, the lack of purpose. Yet I knew that I have only 1 life, so I searched for meaning, for the answers to all my questions, and found them all. Now I feel in order, the void inside is no more, and I look onwards with hope.
Let me guess- This comment brought to me by Raid: Shadow Legends?
You sound really anxious and bored and like you’re mind is running away with itself, just grabbing what it can, like your memory of childhood. Can you find something else to get your mind on? Also, i think with all the knowledge online, it makes everyone feel like they are smarter or more intelligent that others. I guess it just depends on what you spend your time reading, thinking and learning about. I’m not sure I understand your reason for wanting to kill yourself? Not to be mean, but it sounds like an anxiety attack. Have you eaten?
Only 24/7. It has nothing to do with “the knowledge online”. People are just genuinely stupid. When I was growing up there was this sociopath… You know what? No. I’m done. Why bother explaining myself for the umpteenth time. I’m tired.