Absolutely horrible things happened to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a life, every time I think life can’t get any worse, life proves me wrong. I don’t know how much more I can take. There is no way to fix some of the damage that was done to me and everything seems kind of pointless. The whole world seems to be against me, it basically wants me to die and go to hell. I make enemies everywhere, I have no idea why. I even asked some acquaintances if they thought if I was a bad person or something and they all said I am one of the nicest person they met. Some even complimented my looks. Then why do people hate me for no reason? I can’t make a single friend to save my life. I am struggling just to stay alive and live another day. I live on less than 1 dollars per day and I am dirt poor with no job and mental disability. Can’t a single good thing happen to me? I wish I was never born.
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Yeah, that is the curse of being a decent human being… Trust me, I’m feeling every word. I don’t know why that is though. I really can’t tell you. I’m trying to wrap my mind around it. Some people just don’t deserve the time and kindness we have to offer. It’s something I need to believe, because there’s nothing else left to think… It can’t be on me, right.? Sometimes I feel like I’ve taken some wrong turn and aren’t supposed to be where I am now and people know, that I wasn’t supposed to meet them. I always wonder, if there was a better life for me, if I’ve done one thing differently.
I am glad to know that you can relate to what I said. Sometimes I wonder if I am cursed or something. The way people treat me don’t make sense, it’s like I have an invisible aura that makes people hate me even if I did nothing wrong to them. I am tired of people being jerks to me. It’s gotten so bad that when someone says something nice I get a weird feeling inside and feel like I don’t deserve to treated nicely.
I came to the conclusion that people will keep treating me like this until I can stop them. I have to have something that can make them think ‘hey this guy can **** me up, better not mess with him’. But sadly I am a mentally disabled person and there’s not a lot I can do to make people fear me. I have no friends and no connections, I am not 6’6″ tall and I am a poor ****. I guess this is the reason people target me, they know they can get away with doing anything to me.
I feel you. Changing friends takes time and patience. Luckily, you have the will to cut out the toxic people hurting you the most.
Real friends are almost impossible to come by. I am 45 years old and I only ever had 2 real friends in my entire life. People that would go to the bat for me if I asked them to. Which I would never. I mean, why would I ask a friend to put himself in trouble for me, knowing he would suffer? All other people I have met, although they seemed my friend, were simply facades. They show a smile and ask you for a service but nowhere to be found if the opposite was ever to happens. Most people think they have real friends. But in reality, they do not. They get used.
Saw a movie the other day titled Synchronic. One of the protagonist has a wife and a teenager. The other is single and looking for the one special lady. The single guy then gets diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. At some point, the single guy says to the other: The only difference between your life and mine are randomness, chance, and luck. And oh boy is that true. It is incredible sometimes that small bit of wisdom can be found buried in otherwise unassuming movies.
Yes it might be hard but people still have plenty of friends somehow. You at least had two real friends. I never had a real friend. I had some fake friends though, all those friendships ended either them stabbing me in the back or me cutting them off for being assholes. I have yet to find anyone in my life who will be a real friend to me. I don’t have much to offer anyone but I can be loyal and provide emotional support. But I guess people don’t see much use of that and that why my friendships always end badly. The result is no one having my back when I am being attacked. Really I have no idea how to get out of this situation.
I know how you feel, I’ve felt the same way my entire life and it’s so fustrating, I’ve tried to make friends in the past but people just don’t like me for whatever reason I don’t know. It’s to the point where I just gave up and don’t talk to nobody, I just keep to myself and I moved away from a big city to the most irrelevant state in America because that’s were I seem to fit in. It’s also fustrating growing alongside a brother who everybody likes but they ignore you. You have a friend in me if you ever want to talk karmicretribution@aol.com
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1/22/2021 – 12:21 am
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I know how you feel, I’ve felt the same way my entire life and it’s so fustrating, I’ve tried to make friends in the past but people just don’t like me for whatever reason I don’t know. It’s to the point where I just gave up and don’t talk to nobody, I just keep to myself and I moved away from a big city to the most irrelevant state in America because that’s were I seem to fit in. It’s also fustrating growing alongside a brother who everybody likes but they ignore you. You have a friend in me if you ever want to talk
I tried to leave my e-mail but it says “your comment is awaiting approval” I think we should chat, you remind me a lot of myself especially when I was younger
I left a mail. did you receive it?