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just end this, she was my only friend

by lonely_loner

I made very good friends with a girl on Roblox, who I call Bella.

She was my only friend, better yet, my bff. She was the only who understood.

But then things got awkward.

We didn’t know what to say. We didn’t even know what to do.

Eventually, I joined, and she told me it was super awkward. She said that was all she could say.

I asked her if this was goodbye.

She never responded in chat.

So, when she spoke again to someone else, I private chatted her. And told her, Thank you for being my friend. Bye. <3

And I left.

Then I erased all contact. All of it.

I am only now following her. Because she deserves it for putting up with my shit.

That is all, but now I just realized. This is why I don’t have friends. I push them away if one little thing happens.

But she should have known, I told her I was mentally ill.

She never responded to that.

I feel guilty for leaving without another word.

But as I said.

She had to put up with my crap. Now its over.

My tear ducts are on powerwash.

She was the only person who acted as if she even gave a damn.

Now I’m alone.

This just keeps going in a circle.

So I’ll cut it off.

But Bella, if you are reading this. I’m sorry. For making you deal with me.

I’m sorry. And now I just want it to end.

lonely_loner

3 comments
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3 comments

just_a_person 2/2/2021 - 9:27 pm

Y’know, I somewhat in a way relate to this. I told him that I have depression and anxiety and yet he still stayed. I’ve pushed him away so many times because I thought why would he wanna be friends with the mentally ill girl, right? There were so many days where I didn’t wanna talk to him because I was just so tired but I ended up saying a few words so he didn’t think something was especially wrong. I’m constantly afraid he’ll just leave one day. I’m so sorry she just left, I don’t think you deserved that.

JudgeMeNot 2/5/2021 - 2:12 am

Too hard on yourself. But definitely need to stop apologizing every second or you wont be keeping any friends.

Outland 2/7/2021 - 5:23 am

I understand this all too well. I’ve burned so many bridges in my life, thinking the same exact things, why would someone wanna be with someone who’s a psychopath? They’re there because they want to be, and pushing them away only makes it hard for them to be there

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