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trying to outrun a relapse

by system

my day consists of getting stuck in flashbacks and losing track of time.

i am too exhausted to feel anything but misery and dread.

i want to tear open my flesh.

i want to see my own blood.

i want to destroy the place on me that he forced me to carve so that his name is no longer visible.

i want to feel that piece of me torn away.

i want to feel that freedom.



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thedevilisclose 3/24/2021 - 1:38 am

Just a quick thought.

There isn’t a surgery you can get or something that can remove that or a tattoo or something?

system 3/24/2021 - 1:40 am

I’m turning 18 soon, I’m going to get a tattoo as soon as I can. Laser removal is more expensive + more painful. I also have a high pain tolerance for sharp objects in the region it’s in because that’s traditionally where I always cut.

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