my paranoia is getting worse. i have work to do and i don’t want to take my Seroquel because it knocks me out. my mom made me take it. i don’t want to sleep. the minute i go to bed i
holy shit. it’s really gotten this bad. i can’t finish my fucking sentence because i’m convinced that if i think about it or say it or write it, it will happen. i’ve been obsessively knocking on wood. i need to. why? because if i don’t do it the the *IEU*(E8uy9e89ye89uy i can’t write it i can’t write it I can’t write it FUCK
i’ve been making my parents knock on wood too and i lash out if they don’t. because if they don’t if they don’t if they don’t if the hsKJKJHBJKDBJHKHJKUIY#eewu8e3ep3ei####I#IO#U#U3oii3u
holy shit i can’t. don’t say it don’t write it don’t think it don’t don’t don’t don’t
every time i try i freak out and smash my hands on the keyboard
fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck
16 MAY 2021 // 22:19 PST
i haven’t eaten in nine hours. i can’t. it makes me feel sick.