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Just so tired

by elleInWi

Talking to a crisis hotline today did not help me with the issues im facing. Ive had never ending traumatic events happen to me every month ever since last august and every1 has been involved. Human services, cps, behavioral services and now the cops. Im being accused of something i didnt do because my dad is out for revenge ever since i got him arrested for sexually assaulting my son. So hes been determined to ruin my life, hes already taken everything away from me, and made me and my kids homeless. But it wasnt enough for him. Now hes accussing me of ordering a phone in his account, which i didnt do nor did i know anything about it til a detective called me. But again who would believe someone like me whose already at rock bottom. Rich people get away with whatever they want and people like me suffer. If i off myself, i wouldnt have to keep fighting or struggle. Ive battled a non winning battle for over 30yrs and im just so tired. I never had the chance to be weak, i was always told i had to be strong, but look at me, look where i ended up even though i kept fighting n kept moving. It did nuthin but bring me closer to the abyss. Idk what to do anymore. I have no one but my kids. I cant keep doing this alone. I need help. I need someone to stick up for me against these bullies. Ive never felt so alone then i do now.

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3 comments

LoneSoul 5/25/2021 - 10:26 pm

Sorry to hear what you’ve been going thru. Hope you pull through this Cold world. And find the peace you deserve.

elleInWi 5/25/2021 - 10:31 pm

Im going to leave this world. They cant keep hurting me if im dead. 34yrs of hell has been enough for me, i dont see a reason to fight anymore.

Once 5/25/2021 - 11:11 pm

I can only think to say what you would expect to hear – that I’m sorry for what is happening, and you have every right to be frustrated and wanting to exit. This world, and the lives we are expected to live are unbelievable at times in terms of how much insanity we’re expected to endure and remain standing. Im not going to encourage you to stand tall and remain strong – I get the desire to leave this infested sewer. The acts of many people are nothing but unadulterated malice, and are enough to drive one over the brink. I hear you. I can’t judge you for your desire. I understand. Humanity is a poisonous species with very few redeeming qualities – our natural instincts are toward evil, and we are fucking experts at it without even trying hard. It comes natural. I just want you to know I empathize with you, and that while I hope things improve for you, if you take matters into your own hands, I understand why.

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