I was doing good throughout the pandemic. I had been taking Benzos for over 9 years. I had decided to come off Benzos and start life all over again, because Benzos were now damaging me. In February of 2021, I went to my psychiatrist to get me off these drugs. Instead she put me on another drug that turned out to be more evil called Effexor. I was able to come off Benzos on my own and the psychiatrist cut my benzos refills off. I stopped sleeping and functioning. I then started taking Effexor and after two months of no sleep, I started sleeping again. I thought I had healed, but this wasn’t it. I really don’t understand what happened. I had taken the Covid vaccine and I thought that this started interacting with Effexor. I started having electric shocks in my brain and also on my heart. I stopped Effexor cold turkey and then all a sudden I felt the strongest electric shock I ever felt inside my heart. People have told me that maybe I had Covid, but maybe the vaccine and the psyc meds were messing me up. Then I noticed my heart rate was now 150 bpm and my blood pressure 170/120. I went 4 months thinking this would go away, only to get worst. My heart was very fast and started making murmur sounds. Then I stopped completely sleeping. I tried hanging myself, just to be saved by cousin, and going through more pain. I tried taking rat poison only to end up in the hospital. My symptoms are now much worst. I cannot shut down my brain at all. I have strong vibrations in my brain and different beeping sounds. I have strong ringing in my ears. I also have nerve damage from my heart to my brain, I believe the vagus nerve was damaged from the electric shock I felt and getting worst. I cannot digest food correctly. I’m in pain 24/7 and no doctor has been able to help me. I’m thinking of giving this a try again and leave this world. I cannot live like this. I have a lot issues, whatever caused this I’m living in hell already. I never thought this things in my life of taking my life. I don’t want to leave my family behind, but the pain is too much and I cannot live like this. I don’t think these symptoms will ever end.
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I am no doctor, however, in almost nine years of reading just about every post and comment on this site, I do not recall any long term successful outcomes with psychotropic medications. I do recall many stories of distress following the use of these medications. Maybe the stories are not balanced here but it is the same on other sites that have a similar theme. The people I have personally known to use these treatments have suffered too. I use only essential oils and supplements for my issues. They continue working to this day and there are no side effects whatsoever. Again, I am no doctor, however, consider seeing a therapist who appreciates essential oils and supplements .
I believe you. I too came off of Effexor and benzos. You can get huge electric shocks (“brain zaps”) from Venlafaxine (Effexor) withdrawals. I am not a doctor and can’t give medical advice, but something that can seem to help is coming off gradually rather than cold-turkey. I also believe you that the vaccine made you feel worse/had a weird reaction with your meds. All meds can have side-effects, including vaccines.
You might not be well enough to try this, so I understand if it’s not an option, but studies show that exercise is as effective an antidepressant as medication (depending on the severity of the depression of course).
I have lived with severe depression since early childhood and it’s one of the only things that ever works to help me.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through so much pain.
Life is like a torture – you don’t want to endure it but it’s extremely difficult to leave it on-purpose because we’re hard-wired not to kill ourselves. Every day is a battle with no purpose or reward.
I live with heart problems too – the anxiety around it is terrible and it’s an extremely uncomfortable way to live. I have an electrical imbalance that sends my heart rate completely out of control sometimes.
One thing that helped me was changing my diet – I drink a lot of skim milk for phosphorous and take vitamins and supplements like magnesium, calcium, potassium etc. I make sure I take them in the right balance though – don’t take too much or in the wrong combinations or you’ll just make it worse.
I also have to be careful not to over-exercise. when i exercise too much, my heart gets messed up, so i have to keep a balance.
it’s hard and exhausting trying to survive.
benzos are an extreme drug and so is effexor. coming off of them is one of the hardest things a person can do – doctors don’t acknowledge this but it really is extreme. it can even be life-threatening to come off too quickly.
you’re really strong for getting through this far and surviving. please keep trying different things – you’re bound to find something that helps you eventually.
I also joined an overseas legal euthanasia organization because i feel people should be allowed to die with dignity, painlessly and legally if they have tried everything for years and years and are facing a painful ending.
it should be legal to self-euthanize in every country in my opinion if you are an adult and can show that you have tried things and have had enough.
i don’t want a slow death from eventual cancer like everyone has to go through anyway, but i haven’t been successful trying to hang myself, cut etc.
I don’t recommend that you try those methods either – they’re so much easier said than done.
there is a new suicide machine in a scandinavian country that i have been really curious about, but it can be hard or impossible to get anything like that going where i live.
the pandemic has made everything ten times harder and i’m so sorry for everything you’re going through. i hope you keep writing.