It helps me when I’m suicidal to list little dumb things that make me last an extra 10 minutes. Try making your own list. Make it personal and stupid and something no one else would find inspirational. I’ll include mine as an example
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You haven’t been on a 19th century sail ship before. Or pooped in a golden toilet. Seen that one celebrity in real life before. Or that one famous painting. Or heard your favorite band live. What’s that one thing really like, in real life? What does frankensense smell like? What is it like to ride a Jetski? There are so many things you don’t know yet, and since you’re going to die anyways, you might as well try it out beforehand.
Your favorite song hasn’t dropped yet. Your favorite movie is going to come out next November. In fact, you haven’t gotten to experience any of your all-time favorite things yet. No wonder you’re miserable. You haven’t gotten all those things that make you happy.
Funerals are expensive. Dying makes a huge mess. Shitting your pants and being covered in sweat sounds miserable. And embarrassing. Ew.
A nap would be good right about now. The other side of your pillow is probably nice and cold right now. It’d feel nice against your cheek.
Fuck it. Just wait. You can do it just as easily in a couple of months once you’ve gotten the things you’re curious about out of the way.
5 comments
That can definitely work, when you’re in a place of despair and have no reason to go on. Depending on what someone’s issue is, it could either be impossible to do these things or it could change perspectives.
For me – I always get excited about new video games or series coming out. Such a small thing but it fills me with excitement. I also want to see, what is possible with technology. It’s inspiring and all going at a rather quick pace. I want to own an Android. Is that crazy.? Perhaps..
Anyway, thanks for the post.!
This was nice to read. A similar thing keeps me around at times; I love learning about and how to do things, and there is an infinite amount of that. Of course I always get satisfied/bored before too long, but maybe the next thing will be transformative. I do worry about some unforeseen life event taking away the autonomy I need to quit this farce, given my current exit strategy requires a bit of independence and time…ah well.
PS I also read your other, first post and liked that. Personally disagreed about what one user said about it coming off as backhanded; felt very sincere to me. Other people just don’t get it till it’s too late. I know, I and my former social circle were on the other end of it once. Now I feel like the people I know are there. No one is stepping up. History repeats. The cruel dance of existence.
Yep – when you work hard for luxury, it pays- you enjoy it- and you learn to love and protect them with the best security – me personally – security cameras and window alarms.
(Jetskiing is the bomb)
Well I was thinking about the ‘last mile’ problem, getting from your car to your place of work or seeing your friends for a night out for fun, clubbing, movies, bars, etc.
This is a problem in a major city like Toronto…where you have loads of traffic and parking downtown is costly.
So I was checking various electric vehicles like e-scooters, skateboards and as odd as it sounds, EUC’s (electric unicycles) really seem impressive and fit the bill.
They’re light, compact, and have tons of range and power….so ya I might get one of those.
The beauty is that they’re fairly small so you can take them into stores or the compact (10 inch) versions can fit in a backpack.
As for other things that keep me living…ya I like technology, architecture, curious about a lot of things…so I guess on days I’m not feeling down, I think about those that make me want to keep living.
It feels like a whirlwind tbh. This situation I’m in today (in my 50s) is exactly the one I hoped to avoid but it happened anyways. I expected to be more settled in life.
Anyways I’m working towards my goals and things are moving in a positive direction. Hopefully I’ll have my own house or condo soon….then I’ll seriously look for a partner. I wish I was doing this in my 30s, but stuff happens and time goes by.
for me it stopped working when the things I wanted appeared so financially out of reach, it’s unclear if reaching them is even possible
I want to go skiing again, maybe take a trip to Europe, get all of my stuff repaired and working properly, have children, take a cross country hike, take a cross country bike ride, go ice fishing, live somewhere it is possible to get snowed in, go swimming every day for a summer, go swimming every day for a year, a decade, what does it matter? it’s all a fantasy
meanwhile here I sit, in a sweltering and uncomfortable climate, without the resources to enjoy it. At least when I’m dead, I won’t be letting myself down anymore.
funerals might be expensive, but they happen, like magic whenever needed, unlike any ambition a person might seek to stay alive.