Forget me please

I’ve tried my hardest to make myself the most expendable person ever, I’m a people pleaser so it wasn’t that hard, be nice enough so that people don’t hate you over anyone, but quiet enough so that they can’t quite put you into a category. At least thats what i try to convince myself. “You don’t have any close friends so that when you’re gone you won’t hurt as many people” “It’s good that they constantly forget about you, this is the plan, remember?”. My friends aren’t bad friends. I’m lucky they even give me the time of day. I’m a horrible person for wasting their energy and i probably make them feel bad about themselves when i point out what they forget. I don’t deserve them. I’m being ungrateful. Why would i want them to miss me? That’s a mean thing to want. I have no personality, but it isn’t an intentional detail about me. It’s just because i don’t deserve one. If i did it would be easy for me to know how to describe it. But i can’t. And nobody i know can either. Because i shouldn’t exist. And since i do it’s my job to fix that.