There are so many things i should prepare for my mom, dad, sis, best friends, friends, and enemy.
But do i really need to do all of that?
Im afraid they will be sad cause im gone
But will my letter and gifts makes them understand what ive been thru or makes them less sad?
Should i jump from a building?
Should i drink the mix of drugs?
Should i cut my neck/wrist?
Im so afraid to live yet im afraid to hurt them too
At the same time
Im happy cause there will be someone crying in my funeral and to leave this painful feeling
Ive been living as a good girl
So i believe i wont be in hell
But if i do
I dont really care cause this world and humanity is hell
HA!what Am I TLakINg aboUT!
3 comments
hey, lets consider you are getting better , cuz the way you think people crying or not about your furneral prove that you’re not getting numb, your heart still caring about them
anyway try break for a moment , take a cup of tea and watch the night sky , this year maybe hard for you but you should thank to yourself first , your body and heart are tough enaugh to passed this year , appreciate yourself. then talk to them that you can get better next year
Happy New Year , i hope you find a better life ^^
it isn’t fair, this stupid cage we’re in. it makes the years go by slowly, and it’s painful. When you look back, it went by so quickly, but it was awful, lonely, isolating. Trashed. Future…I don’t want to sit in a nursing home some day and remember how hard it was to feel fulfilled or happy. The void , the bullshit is the whole life. Friends and family… hopefully you don’t think you’re a burden to them. That’s the worst thing imaginable and you have to put them first in this state of mind. They check on you, though. They care about you. I mean, take it or leave it, despite feeling misunderstood. I hope you find a way to cope with this crap you’re feeling right now. You seem really nice. You don’t deserve any of the pain
Maybe wait a few days and calm your spirit with something in the mean time. Something healthy, some sunlight, or none, until it feels a teency bit better, because that’s how it kind of goes for some