1. You get bored with small talk
2. You’re careful with your words (reserved/overly serious)
3. You’re socially awkward
4. You struggle to make good friends (Is making true friends and finding YOUR crowd somewhat of a challenge for you?)
5. You don’t get out much
6. You’re overly analytical (analysis paralysis/indecisiveness)
7. Your mind constantly craves exercise
8. You’re always feeling pressured to succeed
ME:
1. Most definitely!
2. Yes but can chat and engage in useless banter when out on a “fun” night with ppl who only are interested in non-serious conversations
3. Nope, learned over the years to be extraverted when needed
4. Is it ever!!
5. Nope. I hibernate like a bear now. I used to go out 1-2x a week engaging in social activities (pre-pandemic) but not since.
6. Yep Yup YES. Always in my head, always thinking something.
7. Yes. And talking to avg Jane about hair/makeup/boys does not satisfy that craving.
8. Never ending pressure indeed! Mostly self-inflicted but yes.
No, this video didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. But yes, it’s hard to be happy when most people don’t “get you” or understand you, and you aren’t like “everyone else.” And also being a perfectionist with a ton of self pressure to succeed = depression. I can’t shut off the desire to succeed or achieve something “great” or to be perfectly fine with mediocrity or fine with a banal meaningless life. And I’m always thinking thinking thinking.
Some of y’all here try to shut that thinking part off with drugs/alcohol. But as soon as it wears off, you’re back to being the thinking you again. It’s noisy in our heads.
2 comments
I will never have a problem with this considering I am an absolute dumbass.
most of my life, most people have told me I’m intelligent, or variations of it (perceptive, self aware, well read) and I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be something there, but only because other people care about things I don’t, and I care about things other people don’t.
1. You hate small talk: Eh, it has moments going for it. People like being talked to, and weather and other silly topics make them like you. I like people to like me, so I’ve gotten better at this. I used to hate small talk, but now that I know that all I have to do is keep people talking about themselves… it’s relatively easy.
2. As stated above, I’m capable of blathering about anything and everything. When I’m under a lot of pressure, I don’t talk much.
3. Socially awkward? It varies. Stick me in a room full of hyper Christian football fans, yeah, I don’t do well with that crowd. If, on the other hand, they have interests that I have even a passing knowledge or interest in, I like people. Also at this point I have to mention that my degree and first decade of work was intentionally in understanding people, because it used to be a challenge. I overcompensated in it, and that’s how I got here.
4. I don’t really make close friends. I’m pretty open about who I am to anyone who will listen, but I understand there is a limited appetite. For someone to be close to me, they would be capable of betraying me. No one outside of family gets that close, I distrust others. Meanwhile I have a lot of people who I enjoy talking to and sort of know what I’m about. That’s enough for me.
5. I am content staying home sometimes for weeks at a time. I don’t do well with parties or quite a few things that people seem to enjoy. However, when I have people to be with, I can go out. Part of it has to be that I live in the middle of a city, so I see people every day even if I don’t go further than the corner store.
6. Overly analytical. I’ve been told this by others. I’ve solved analysis paralysis because it’s something my wife struggles with. The solution I’ve found that works for us is that I reduce a large group of choice into a smaller binary A or B choice. The brain is good at those. A good example is what to eat, I can start with meat usually beef or chicken… style, recipe etc etc.
7. Constantly, constantly trying to keep my brain active. The games I play are highly complex, usually involving a required intuition and strategy. I read a lot, both books and articles.
8. The pressure has been there. Lately I’m trying to let go of it. I’m a published researcher, that may well be the highest achievement I get. Ambition has been my weak point, so lately I’ve been learning not to be so gung ho adventure seeking. It would be nice to achieve more, but it can’t come at the cost of my physical well being.