Another Group On the Outs

Well here’s yet another group I don’t belong to bc of my views.

I’m reading posts from the Chronic Illness Group and this woman really wants to have children, but says her parent’s are very against it, and she can’t understand why they can’t be supportive. Someone commented, and not in a mean way, asking, if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of children? (OP wants more than 1). Commenter says even healthy able bodied mothers have trouble bc kids require a lot of energy- which they do. And commenter says what about days when you can’t take care of the children? What then? (Commenter was also chronically ill)

Then next comment is from Admin saying this is ableist comment and any further comments like that s/he will be banned!

Good grief. Where is the common sense. Lady sounds like she’s single- ie no husband. If no husband, then HOW are you going to take care of any children? If OP has a husband and he’s willing to shoulder the grunt of the work, then that’s fine. But OP is single and wants babies, but is chronically ill. She has trouble taking care of herself some days, but has always dreamed of having children.

Sigh. If you don’t have the financial means or good enough health to properly take care of children, then you shouldn’t have any. If she had a husband who understands he’d have to pick up the slack on most days, then that’s fine. But she doesn’t. And complains that her parents are uncaring bc they do not like the idea of her having children. Bc guess what, her parents are thinking THEY are going to have to take care of the kids bc she won’t be able to. Once you pop them out, you can’t just undo it. Kids are a LOT of work.

Hell, if you’re healthy and able bodied but living in poverty, or very low income, you shouldn’t be having children either. That’s not fair for the child to grow up in poverty. I grew up in poverty and it was fucking miserable. Children should not be subjected to that just bc “you’ve always dreamed of having kids.” I’m sure I’m gonna get flack for saying this but whatever, those are my views and I’m entitled to my thoughts.

My view is, you can’t be selfish and think soley of what YOU want: “I want children” and NOT think about the children. What happens on days when you can’t take care of them? If you have money for a nanny that’s fine. If you have a husband willing to do most of the house chores and child rearing, fine. If you have parents or family members willing to help you raise and look after them, fine. But if not, then you shouldn’t.

Don’t even get me started on the genetically disabled group. I get that some people really want to have children, but if you know that you are going to pass on your disability or very likely to pass on a severe disability onto an offspring, then no, you shouldn’t be having kids either. Like how unfair and cruel to KNOWINGLY pass on genetic disorders to your offspring? Especially debilitating ones?

Anyhow, long story short, I can never belong to ANY kind of group, whether it’s a chronic illness group, depression group (I don’t believe in the “just think positive! and everything will be fine mass delusion),
or political group (I disagree with both sides on many things), or whatever group, bc there’s ideologies of every group I do not believe in or have issues with. And if you don’t go along lock step with EVERYTHING they believe in, you’re out of the group, whatever group that is. Not that I want to be in a group that believes in stuff I don’t believe in.

Anyway, point of the post isn’t about that lady. It’s the fact that I just inherently do not agree with many beliefs of practically every group out there. I do not follow whatever is “mainstream” or whatever it is I’m “told” to believe. I question things. That makes me a black sheep. Hence, never belonging anywhere. Hence, always being alone. Lucky me.