My life has been in shambles, in ruins, the last 15 years. Well, 18 years is when it went downhill. But definitely shitty AF the last 15. And it’s gotten progressively worse. The last few years has been hell. It’s come to a point where this trajectory is leading me to a quick trip to hell soon.
I want to know WHEN my life will get better, if ever?
It’s been so long that I’ve lost my will the past 15 years.
Not much fight/hope/will/determination/desire left in me…
There’s no way to know unless we have a crystal ball and a crystal ball we have not…
1 comment
I have a vague idea of what it takes, but as to when/if it’ll come that’s the trick. A new direction with a successful reward loop, if you can find one of those you really believe in, that’d be the ticket.
but that’s outward, IE, something that society needs to present the path to…. which to my knowledge can’t be forced.
So I focus inward, trying to find new challenges that stretch my ability to reason and solve complex problems. Often times, it’s stupid stuff.
Right now, as an example, I’m slowly sinking into trying to understand and solve problems in Open Transport Tycoon which has a reasonably simple game loop, but the longer you play the more complex it gets. Most people play on small maps because it’s easy and “fun”…. but that’s not my personality, I’m trying to figure out how to play on the biggest maps the game can make…. success to me will be when I can arrange all the systems in my head, keep track without trying.
That’s the only assured success, set goals that are achievable. Ideally, ones that don’t involve other people, because other people suck, as I’m sure you know.