I have a shit life I can’t seem to escape, not without a LOT of action and courage and facing a bunch of unknowns (i.e. moving to a 3rd world country not knowing anyone and not knowing the language with zero help and with health problems so it’s NOT easy). Well, assuming that is the best viable plan. Of which it could all be so wrong and backfire.
I have all sorts of shit going on in my head making me depressed af and I can’t shut it off.
I can’t get back the old me- the me that was strong and courageous, fearless. Was very determined, strong-willed, proactive and did everything I could to better myself and my life. But that old me has been killed. Or at least strangled and suffocated. A shadow of the old me is left. How do I bring the old me back? I haven’t been able to the last decade+. Have I lost the old me forever?
I’ve lost my vitality, my drive, my will.
I am nothing but a shadow of what I USED to be, and that kills me.
And I can’t seem to move forward in life. A large part of that is health issues so FML. But a large part of that is also my mental issues. I can’t seem to pull myself together to do what is necessary to improve my life. Mostly bc I feel hopeless and defeated and lack the energy and willpower to DO anything. Can’t pull “yourself up by the bootstraps” when your bootstraps have been ripped apart.
IDK, am I just fucked? I feel so tired and battered by life. I don’t have any gas left to pick myself back up for the upteemth time.
3 comments
Try to identify and connect with the inner self that’s unchanged by outside circumstances.
what inner self that’s unchanged by outside circumstances? my political and economic views don’t change. my sense of justice doesn’t change. but how does that help me? all that does is depresses me MORE bc I see how corrupt our shitty world is.
All these are what you see, all these are not what you are. YOU form views; you are different than your views.
I understand how corruption of world affects. That’s why I suggested this. World won’t change. Why should we suffer due to that? We aren’t just social beings, we’re individual too. If social side gives us nothing but pain and suffering, we can try to move more towards individual one.