How do we not let regret keep us stuck? I don’t mean minor regrets on stuff. I mean LIFE ALTERING choices or decisions that were made (or not made).
So many things have gone wrong in my life, and so many people have done so many bad things to me, over and over and over again. It’s hard to let go of that. Logically, I know getting stuck on the past and on emotions doesn’t do me any good. But on the other hand, when your emotions are stuck, no telling yourself to “get over it” is gonna get over it. Believe me I tried.
Obsessive thoughts of the past and what if’s/shoulda’s/woulda’s/coulda’s abound. Yes I know the past, the past wrongs and ills and thoughts should not occupy my head. But it doesn’t go away. Just like telling someone with depression to “just get over it” or “just think happy!” telling myself not to dwell on the past doesn’t stop it from occurring.
There’s SO many points in my life where my life got fucked, and I’m stuck on those points. If I hadn’t gone to this dr, this wouldn’t have happened, etc. If I hadn’t moved to this place, this wouldn’t have happened, etc. It’s not like I was actively doing bad or stupid things. But things like choosing to move to x place, or y place, or seeing this dr and then that dr, FUCKED me up. Those are just a few examples, but there’s SO many of those “bad” decisions in my life that wound up fucking my physical health and mental health. As well as financially.
Anyhow, the last 9 years have been bad, baddest, worse, and worst. It just gets worse and worse, and no, I can’t get past it bc things like health I cannot get back. Certain things that were done to me by drs cannot be undone or brought back. The damage is done and I have to live life in agony bc of what they all did to me.
1 comment
I connect with everything you said. I always say that I hate choices because I always make the wrong choice. Wish I had words of encouragement for you, but really people generally suck and most are just a shell of human and evil on the inside. If they think they can get away with something bad and hurtful and not get caught, they will do it. The only one thing I can say is maybe try acceptance for where you are today and try to live today each day and forward. It may not be anything close to what you hoped for, but well….it is what it is. The what ifs don’t matter what’s done is done. Wish you well it’s not easy, I struggle every day, to be content with here and now and not let anyone else hurt me again. The only thing I enjoy is my dog. Its ended lonely and am tired.