What hope is there for us?

35 years old here, and I’ve had mental and physical health issues since age 7….. though even now I can’t own that there was actually something wrong at that point. I didn’t conform, and was given chemical correction for that…. but it just made me more stubborn and unwilling to comply

So to start out they said I had ADHD….. but they could never really accept that being the totality of it, I remember at least as early as age 10 being told I had depression…. though my family never really accepted that diagnosis and I have no idea, I was 10.

Around age 17 I dropped out and did my GED. It was at this point I sought to become unmedicated and succeeded. The following four years were the closest I’ve ever had to “normal.” I got married, bought a house… and ran headlong into a recession.

So it turned out my marriage was based on my ability to keep the companies I worked for in business, so that didn’t last. I kept the house, but around that time, age 22 I started having issues again. Somewhere between then and 24 I started medications again, this time for depression and anxiety.

and that was all 11 years ago. Now I’m trying to sober up again… though of course there are no programs for getting off of prescriptions…. not that a program ever did me any good.

I’m stubborn, either life complies and allows me what I require, or I do whatever necessary to communicate the unacceptability of it to the world around me. I’m not asking big stuff; enough to eat, a safe place to sleep, and some kids to look after. Oh, and a vacation a year, doesn’t have to be fancy, just get me out of town.

Change is always possible, but one of the most important variables is how ready you are for change. I’ve missed my shot a few times, but I adjust and shoot again, metaphorically of course.