I tend to question my mental state.
Today for instance, was just having to look up some apartments. Need to find a new place to live soon. Wasn’t finding any appointments for today, which makes sense considering a lot of people would have setup in advance. But I’ve just been going at it, finding a couple places and calling to see. Nothing yet, but I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. Suddenly, I’m looking up if I’m a high fuctioning autistic person and the like. I’m very frustrated with myself.
I feel like I’ve gone off the rails for years now. I’ve never gotten any kinds of definitive answers on whether or not I’m on the spectrum. Never did any kind of SpecEd or anything like that, parents never gave me a definitive answer. I will be getting therapy, just need my new insurance to kick in so I can actually run through costs and what not.
My point is, something is wrong with my head. I am not a normal functioning individual. Some things that I used to do as a kid, my interests, things I’d been told about my own development, it makes me think. I can never self diagnose though, there’d be no point of that. Going to have to ask my parents some questions and go from there.
I just know that something is wrong with me, and it’s driving me mad trying to figure out what it is.
1 comment
It’s strange because for people with situations like ours (apologies for assuming), “normalcy” isn’t actually normal. So it’s hard to say if this is just how we are supposed to be or if there is something that needs to be adressed. I can’t say I know what it’s like to be on the spectrum. From my understanding it’s not easy to classify or find an answer. I don’t envy individuals who are suicidal and have autism. Hope apartment hunting goes well. The market is a SOB what with price gouging. Hope you figure out what’s wrong with your head.