I don’t particularly like this. Idk. It’s a little weird for me. It’s meant to be more of a story then a poem. I think it’s a bit shallow and self-involved. Tell me what you think.
Once upon a time there was a girl
There were many girls, but this girl had a head full of words
There were many words, but these words were full of her sadness
This girl was full of sad stories made of sad words
Once upon a time she was strong
She was full of strength, because she was strong to fight the pain
She was full of pain, a pain no amount of strength could defeat
The girl was silent because she was strong because she was pain
Once upon a time she was weak
She was so weak, weak because she had been strong for so long
It had been so long, so long that she had drowned in the pain
The girl was pain and emptiness and longed to be gone
Once upon a time she slept
She slept to escape, she slept to numb the pain of knowledge
She was full of knowledge, but even in her sleep she knew too much
The girl soon slept forever to escape because the world was too much
But once upon a time there was no prince
There was no prince, no prince to come and awake the girl with a kiss
A kiss didn’t solve anything, a kiss simply compounded her coma
Princes and kisses and life do not exist for those plagued with reality
2 comments
I like it.
But in snowwhite (if that was her) I think the kiss that woke her up stands for love, that one thing that gives life meaning.
Kisses don’t solve anything.
Love makes things better
I like it too. I don’t think it is self involved nor shallow. I think it is beautiful in its simplicity and the way it repeats the concept from stanza to stanza.
I feel a great amount of empathy for the girl who sleeps alone. But I see her strength too and I don’t really think she needs any prince. She just needs to get the words out, her knowledge out and see the strength she has inside herself.
Once upon a time she woke
She opened first one eye, and saw the colours in the new world
She woke her body to understand the new beauty and safety
The girl saw these things as if for the first time and she rose to greet them