Window of Opportunity

A couple of days ago I believed today would be the day to get this done, finally, once and for all, no more hand-wringing, no more excuses. I was prepared to deal with the dreaded pain I knew it would take to do the deed. But wouldn’t you know it, the time frame when my will was the strongest my plans were thwarted because I didn’t get to be alone like I needed to be to carry out my plan. Of late it is almost comical how bad my luck has been!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I know I just have to bide my time and wait for the next opportunity, and, it will come, soon, I am positive.  The posts I read on here, it’s amazing how what one post says applies to so many! I totally agree that there should be a way provided for people with chronic depression who have been forced to suffer all of their lives with their demons constantly pounding them, they (myself included) deserve the right to assisted suicide but, suicide is like a whore in church, people who haven’ t lived through everything depression and anxiety have to throw at you could never hope to understand and we all know people are afraid of what they don’t understand. Suicide is a dirty word, if you are caught considering it they lock you up until you assure them that you are no longer suicidal. Don’t hold your breath for assisted suicide for the depressed, it will never happen because society believes every single person can be helped, fixed in some way but again, they don’t know what we on this site have lived, that some people cannot be fixed and are tired of the pain and prefer not to go on.  Me, I know my family will be shocked and surprised but I honestly believe they also are weary of being privy to every sordid detail of my daily struggle to live life, they too just want it to be over.