Just a couple of days ago my friend and I planned an amazing road trip! On Oct 22 we are heading to Los Angeles! I am going to meet an amazing girl I have met on the internet and then on Oct 25 we are going to commit suicide. A little messed up, but ever since the plans have been made…I’ve been happy. Well, about as happy as a suicidal schizophrenic can get. I smile more and I crack jokes more often… But the girl I’m meeting isn’t as happy as I am. Sure that’s put a damper on my mood, but I’m uber excited and I can’t wait […]
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Couple Of Days
Last night I posted this video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OpaekXGWPc. I plan to let you all know about my last week here on earth.
Today, I mostly slept. I feel unbelievably tired. Almost like I felt when I took overdoses in the past. It’s weird. I went for a walk around the town where I live but I’m scared of others. What are they thinking? Why are they looking at me? I feel I’m there physically but spiritually I’m not there fully. It’s like I’m floating around. In four weeks I’m supposed to get a nephew… today I found out my sister in law is being induced Wednesday. […]
About a week ago I found this site and decided to tell me story. There were some people who advised me to reconsider my suicide. The last couple of days I have been thinking, over thinking and rethinking the idea of taking my own life. And I have come to the conclusion that I will do it.
I know what it means to be death, there is no coming back or any way to reclaim your body. I’m calm about taking my own life because death, in my eyes, is a way to finally let everything rest.
“It’s not suicide if you’re already dead insideâ€.
Before I finally […]
I don’t know how to write this, I’ve never written something like this before, so I guess il just start, I’m sorry if it sounds stupid or doesn’t make sense.
I don’t know how much longer I can feel this way, I had an amazing weekend, I was happy for the first time in years, but alas, 5 days on and I am back to where I began. I have a psychologist that I see and sometimes a psychiatrist, also two people from a subsection of the nhs who come and check on me as I am 17.
I was going to be admitted to a hospital […]
I wasn’t planning on posting here for another couple of days, but recent circumstances have altered my plans. June 27, 2010 is the day that one of my best friends took his own life. I write a memorial post here each year on that day as a way for me to remember him by. Last night another one of my friends committed suicide. It’s been numbing, as I’ve realized how little it affects me. Not because I don’t care, as this is a person that I had a great deal of respect for, and someone that I genuinely enjoyed being around. I know he had […]
Well, I’m a newcomer. I’ve read, and commented on a couple of posts and I’m actually kind of…well…not ‘happy’ that I found this site but, more intrigued. I’m 14, 10th grade, and I’ve already found my depression. Even when I get out of it and go to my ‘happy music’ (which is basically rave and happy hardcore), I find myself slowly slipping back into the dark emo cutting phase. and don’t get mad at the word emo. It’s how I describe myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends who are there for me, but I just don’t know what it is that pulls me […]
Hi friends.
Many of us on here have experienced a tremendous amount of tragedy and loss in our lives unfortunately. I wanted to share with you what I went through, and how it changed my life.
It all started on January 15, 2011. That morning, my parents had taken my 9-year-old cat Tiger to the vet. During the past few days, we noticed that he had become more distant from us, and began to suffer weight loss and smell odd. He also was found in places we normally didn’t find him, mainly my parents’ bathroom. However, being the foolish optimist that I was at the time, I […]
I’m 50, small business owner, two children, one who has graduated and one who is a sophomore. I’ve been married for 30 years and have been my own boss for over twenty.
I’ve had many had many ups and downs over the years, but the writing is on the wall, technology has made my business obsolete. I feel that I’m too old to start over again….. started this a couple of days ago, feel better today, not as suicidal as I was, but it crosses my mind all of the time. One thing I’ve noticed lately, the more I surf online, the more hopeless I feel, […]
I was doing better. I didn’t want to die for a couple of days. You know, I had a documentary about depression to start on, I scheduled classes for senior year of college, I spent time with friends that I love. Then I see a stupid Easter status that mentions the dickhead who broke my heart, and I’m snapped back to reality. I’m a nobody. The one person in my life who has ever claimed to truly love me never did. He said it himself that it was all fake. Why was I so stupid? I actually thought for a bit that maybe I was […]
So Its another day. Again im still here amazing how i can try too pull my life together when its easily falling apart. Like people care. Im not eating.im cutting.Not takeing my meds.My papas drinking all the time i dont understand this anymore whats going on with him ?? i mean hes been acting strange we barely have food in are house because he spends all the damn money on beer.Me and me boyfriend broke up and now i feel lost like everything i had going for me turned out for the worst i mean i loved him. Where Still gonna be friends.. Im going […]
Im excited.
No, really I am.
I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.
Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.
And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.
She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.
Thanks […]
It’s been a rough couple of days… I’m sorry for all who are suffering I fight with this pressure in my head even as I’m trying to put it all behind me… I did manage to find some help… I’m glad i held on long enough… I will be more careful to not drain myself providing for another who is incapable of providing in return… It’s a rough lesson to learn when its family member or a loved one… I need time away from them and now that I’ve had some help I’ll be okay…
9:43pm
Sitting here remaining positive that I won’t allow that to happen […]
A couple of days ago i met my ex who had had the abortion. We haven’t really spoken about it since it happened and so when i brought it up it was a bit of a touchy subject. She had told a friend about it and they had advised her to write a letter to the baby and just say how she was feeling, she never had though.
We decided we would write one together. None of us knew what to say though and so we just sat for a while. Then we wrote ‘sorry’! That’s all i could say at first but then we got […]
A couple of days ago I heard about Amanda Todd. It reminded me when I used to consider suicide because of being constantly bullied. Bullied by my “friends”, bullied my my classmates, by my ex-boyfriend (who blackmailed me for 2 years, saying he would tell everyone in my family what I was, what I had done and said). Then I remembered when the bully got physical. Been called names, been thrown things, been punched. No one cared back then. They would see me crying, but ‘oh, it’s ok, he’s just a teenager’. Anyway, somehow I made it through middle and high school.
Today I’m in college. […]
I hate my life, I’m failing all my classes. Â I don’t think I will be able to go to a university anymore. Â My teachers yelled at me for getting such low marks and I’m extremely down. Â I just want to end my life right here, right now, because I can’t take this anymore. Â I GOT A C+ on my tests BOI! A C+! Unbelievable! Â Tears started to flow down my eyes from the shock of receiving that letter grade. Â My heart was completely crushed on the inside and I felt like I was worthless. Â I just want to end my life because I think I’m […]
new to here. i have actually tried and failled twice to committ suicide. i was unconcious on my frontroom flat the last time. from a couple of litres of vodka and loads of pills. i had to have my stomache pumped out and kept in hospital for a couple of days. i didnt ask to be saved. but some one likes me. i was driven to d hospital and didnt kno where i was. i just am at a seriously low eb in life and have nothing to look forward to. i do not fit in with every day people as such. im just a […]
Im out of my meds, and havent taken them for a couple of days, and im freaking the hell out. I need my fucking zolft . I feel like im trying to swollow a fucking knife right now, I want to cry , can you belive that? Im a guy im not supposed to cry, im supposed to just lock that shit away but with out drugs im fucked. I feel like ripping of my face or throwing everything on the floor and re-organize for hours(last time I arranged the house for 2 fucking days) Fuck OCD and Fuck depression and Fuck anxiety. I am […]
I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it […]
im ALONE in a Place full of people.
My Grandmother tried to commit Suicide now she is in a mental health hospital, the same one i have been in 3 times. Â ive never seen my grandma like that it tore open something i was trying to put away for sooo long, i have cutt agian. suicide is a option!
if i Could be Turned back & start everything over i would. i hate myself for making my grandmother feeling the way she does.
Rope, or Pills????
I’ve made the decision to give myself one last throw of the dice of life. I’ve been feeling really down and suicidal for the past few weeks, yet over the last couple of days things seem to be looking up. I’ve found the strength to say no to the person who was causing my depression, something I’ve not been able to for a while, I’ve started to become pro active in my social life, signing up to play rugby and accepting a few offers of going out from work colleagues. Maybe I’m fooling myself and just prolonging the inevitable but I think having one last […]
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