I want to live.   After 8 years of pain and self abuse, I am starting to see the sun again, and it feels good to feel again.  So glad that I found your site, I think that the people who focus on life vs death are the ones who most want to live. Sometimes I feel that a lot of others just go through the motions, or get numb. I want to experience. As I read through some of the things you have posted, I was amazed and it made me flash back to times of my own. I was abandoned and abused and betrayed. I was so heartsick that I did not like being inside my own skin, frantic to escape.        For all of the things that have happened to me from the time I was born, I feel so very comforted to know that there is a reason I am alive. There is a reason you are alive also.   No matter how ugly it is outside, there is good inside you.  There is.   You are good,  you are strong, and you are safe. Find your own little flame inside, nurture and protect it. The future really does get better.                     Â
4 comments
That’s a beautiful horse. 🙂
Thanks 🙂
thankyou so much !!!!
It’s a beauty, though looking lonely without its parents.
I love horses too, the grace of its form, when it gallops its front legs straddle forward audaciously as if extending to barrier only a man with his hands extended with a sword to swish can match up with.
But to jump on, and race across grass under an open sky is still inapprehensive to me, as I tried riding only a few times, and while they cantered, my buttocks were thrown up already so high leaving me jumpily standing on those stirrups as if the jockey crossing the finish line. There I helplessly thought, “Am I skiing now ? Clasp tight my legs, just don’t fall.”