hi, i am 20 years old and i’m currently studying overseas from my country. the first time i wanted to kill myself was when i was in the 4th grade (8 years old). and since then, every time i got a problem, i always thinking of suicide. i used to cut my wrist and taking sleeping pills when i was in junior high school. i have lots of problems with my family, school, and sometimes boyfriend. i just moved here 3 months ago and every night before i go to bed i always pray and ask to God what am i doing here, in this […]
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8 Years
I don’t think anyone knows the battle you have with your own mind. Day in and day out. Then the people who set you off yell at you and blame you as if it not their fault. Frankly if you set anyone off and blame them they will get mad. So why blame it on the person who is already upset with daily living.
Frankly one day i will have enough courage to kill myself. The thought of leaving the world and the pain and suffering actually makes me more excited for death to come. To think that i will not be in pain […]
Day 1
I was born to this unforgiving world, and thinking now i wished that i never existed
8 years of my life that i suffered with my Family without knowing the reason….
I was born in a family of a Father working on another country that I’ve never seen until recently, a Mother who tends to destroy me physically,mentally and spiritually, beating me and locking me up for a small mistake and makes my body bleed for a case like for a single piece […]
So when i was about 5 i lost my parents, well at the time none of my family wanted me so i went to foster care. When i was about 8 years old i was adopted by great parents, or at least i thought. Growing up it was alright i got picked on alot though because ive always had short hair my whole life ive had it. Well it wasnt until recently that i had started coming out with being a lesbian. Everyone hated me at my school. I only had one friend which was my sister Amber. Im 13 and shes 14. I became […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
I guess I just need to write something. I’ve tried killing myself already but it didn’t work and I haven’t tried again since because it’s nearly time for finals and I don’t want to distract the person who stopped me. She still has a brilliant future waiting for her and I shouldn’t get in the way of that.
This morning is just harder than most. I felt good since Thursday but all of that is gone again. I woke up and just started crying while cursing myself for being such a useless idiot. I guess I knew it was just a matter of time before I […]
Hi,
My name is J. Â I was born in Portland, OR on January 22nd, 1988. Â My father’s name was Cris, my mother’s name is Laura. Â They were both 34 when they had me. Â To the outside world, they were practically the perfect couple (as I am told). Â My father played college football, was of genius level intelligence, tall and handsome, and loved by all. Â My mother was a petite 5 foot 5 brunette, who was a State champion swimmer in Highschool, and met my father while waitressing in Portland. Â However, despite all these stories I was told, I found it hard to believe any of it […]
I’m 50, small business owner, two children, one who has graduated and one who is a sophomore. I’ve been married for 30 years and have been my own boss for over twenty.
I’ve had many had many ups and downs over the years, but the writing is on the wall, technology has made my business obsolete. I feel that I’m too old to start over again….. started this a couple of days ago, feel better today, not as suicidal as I was, but it crosses my mind all of the time. One thing I’ve noticed lately, the more I surf online, the more hopeless I feel, […]
(A lot of the things I have to say in this post are comments I have already made in replies to posts by others. If something I say seems familiar to you, you probably read one of my previous comments.)
I once heard someone say that for some people, this world was never going to be quite right. I agree with that assesment. I see many people here on this site just like me. They feel alone, even in a room full of people. Somehow, no matter what we do, we just don’t fit into “the groove” that everyone else seems to. Because of this, everyone […]
I have done it again. This time deeper. Wider. Longer. Bloodier. I can’t remember why. I can’t remember what I used. How I did it. Where I did it.
But I do remember the pain AFTER the injury. I remember having to have my leg bandaged for three days. And after three days still cleaning up blood. I remember having a severe limp. People would ask me what was wrong, and I’d just say, “Oh, the weather these days really does a number on my hips.”
My boyfriend questioned them, but only briefly. We are both so accustomed to seeing scars on eachothers’ bodies. Sometimes I wished […]
I hate my kind.
I hate their faces, their ignorant smiles. I’ve grown to hate them indisciminatly. What the fuck is wrong with those people? Hollow minds inside puppets made to walk with rotten strings. Let yourself fall into the bliss of mindless simplicity. Almost life a hivemind, brainwashed and seemingly happy with it.
Go with the crowd or fall with the trash.
I do not claim to be a saint nor have my 21 years of existence given me enough experience in the way of life, but is it just me or everything seems so twisted. What happened to sincerity, kindness, generosity? All those concepts are almost […]
So, here are the lyrics to my song, as promised. I call it “Something from the Nothing”
8 years old, she’s beautiful
Loving life and all its flaws
But she doesn’t understand the pain to come
And now it has begun
*Chorus*
Little girl, close your eyes
Don’t give into the lies
You are so beautiful
Can’t you see?
See everything you can be,
And everything you’ve become
You can still turn it all around
I know you’ll make it somehow;
Just hold onto something from the nothing in your heart
12 years old, nothing to live for
She’s given up on life
Wants to leave this world
I am a 13 year old girl, i don’t really want to die but i am really not happy.
I don’t want to die is because i feel i have still to much to in life and don’t have enough time.
I am in the 2 year of highschool and i do a really hard school and i a about 4 hours busy with homework every day, my parents think it is to hard for me but i REALLY don’t want to go to another school because i always feel like a have to work as hard as posible because if i didn’t i will […]
I have been talking to a few close friends about this but not yet written it down, this site is a great idea, ive just joined and im looking forward to reading more-its somewhat refreshing to not only know others out there are feeling like ending their life but that interaction is also possible- which is important.
Im a mature student in my finial year of uni, i dont really drink or do drugs anymore, its taken me 8 years to get to this point as my teeneage years and general social circles are all based on booze.drinking was making me miserable, so i stopped or […]
Today I was seconds away from ending my life. What changed my mind I still do not know.
After 10 years of SEVERE deppresion I am tired, I am tired of it all. I am exhausted.
I tried fighting back for year after year. Medications and therapy(many different therapists) for 10 years and I have not moved a single step forward. Not one step..
2 years ago I gave up. After 8 years of trying I was tired of fighting and in the end i realised I am never going to feel joy again. Â I gave up hope.
I have always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I […]
Honestly. I have such a broken heart, even if I’m 13. Who the fuck cares? I can’t feel loss at “such a young age”?? You try living my life, see what YOU think this is. I’m not weak. I was weak once. But I grew up. That’s right. 8 years old. My grandpa died, I had to grow up. Within 5 minutes, I was completely mature. I had to be. My grandma just lost it. I had to take care of my little sister. Of course, I was barking orders, but I had to. I pushed the feelings down. I was a drill sergeant for […]
So, my name is Courtney. My friends would tell you that I”m a happy person, always smiling. And I might tell you the same thing, or at least try to. The truth is, I’m depressed. I have been since I was 8 years old. I saw my beloved grandpa die right in front of me. That messed me up badly. Then my dog died. I couldn’t do anything. Then, my grandmother literally went insane and now she wants me dead. The woman who once promised me she would always love me, now tells me that she hates me. Â But things got worse after that. Â I […]
I suppose I should begin by saying that I’m not seriously considering suicide, and even if I were I don’t think I could go through with it. That being said, this seems like an appropriate place to share in a way that I’ve never even attempted to in real life.
Upon first talking to me, people generally assume that things go well for me and that I’m on some sort of path to success. I’m intelligent, educated, have a good sense of humor and have always had strong natural talent in music, which has been the focus of the last 8 years or so of my […]
I sit there, curious about the cut on her arm. She looks sad. Did she do it on purpose? My mommy is crying, she’s crying over Sophie’s body. Sophie did hurt herself.
“Mommy, what happened?” I ask.
My mommy just looks at me. She looks very, very sad. I think I didn’t ask the right thing. “Sophie hurt herself very bad.”
I am confused. Then I hear my big brother, my worst enemy, Joshua, come in. He looks at Sophie, who still hasn’t woken up, and this look of rage enters his face. He starts screaming bad things at me. “It’s your fault!”
“Why where you even born!?”
“You waste […]
I don’t really care what people look like. Ugly people have every right to happiness and success as the beautiful, but I don’t feel that way about myself. I have not been able to look in mirrors since 2002. I’m so fat and ugly and I want  to die. I will never be able to accomplish anything good in my life and I will only get uglier as I get older. But how do I do it? I need it to be painless and it must be successful.
I have always felt ugly since at least 8 years old. I remember getting in trouble at school […]
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