My useless life started 22 years ago, an only lonely girl never been hugged or kissed simply because where I live there’s an imaginary sadistic pervert god who tells people to never show love and flog, torture, behead, hate sinners who does this, no I’m not kidding or writing a script for a “Saw” movie sadly they can legally cut off their hands feet and stone them to death! also to be wrapped in clothes from head to toes even-though it’s 1000000 degrees outside.. I can go on forever but I think you got the idea. I’m not the fancy type all I ever wanted is laying naked on a beach eat a pizza and drink a slushie.. no seriously this is my dream but if I did that I get whipped like an animal in public “god said so” .
it’s a long sad pathetic story.. abuse, molestation, hate.. etc. all the classics..
I decided to quit long time ago I think 3 years ago I tried with razors twice I also tried overdosing but I threw up.
so I hope someone comes up with a clean easy way to end this crap. in case you still wonder why : I failed collage twice (not like I didn’t do my best but obviously I’m dump). I can’t leave this shit hole because I’m a girl (yeah it’s a bad thing around here, which reminds me of my dear father who kicked us out and married another woman then his dream came true he had a son! beautiful story) what was I saying?!.. oh yeah I was counting my blessings.. and lately my mom adopted my cousin whom is a boy (dicks are diamonds here) she is spoiling the little fuck while I’m starving “literally” I know what you’re thinking (why can’t this lazy cow get a job and feed herself) I wish I can but no collage degree and all the handy jobs are forbidden by god for those who have “vaginas” and I’d rather walk on broken glass than getting married to one of these assholes around here .. so yea please suggest a nice exit sooner rather than later. TC
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I don’t know much details about religion but I’m guessing you’re Muslim? My moms side of the family is Muslim but they aren’t hardcore about it. I’m not sure anything I’ll say will help, but I’ll try. You don’t deserve to be abused, molested, or hated, things like that absolutely disgust me and the people that do them. They’re the ones that deserve punishment. I’m sure you aren’t dumb, everyone is capable of completing their education as long as they don’t have something like mental retardation. The situation you’re in can definitely take its toll on you as well. I tried college too, I barely tried in fact and got good grades in every class except for one that I was bad at. Second semester I failed every single class because I stopped showing up, didn’t study, and do homework because I simply didn’t care because of my life situation. It was the same first semester but I pushed myself a bit more then.
You deserve to be treated with compassion and love and you definitely deserve to be fed. You also deserve equal rights. I can’t tell you how to end your life, that’s not something I want to live with or die with even though I understand how you feel. You have access to the internet and you can research it yourself if you really want to end your life. Pills won’t kill you, at least generic pills won’t even in high quantity, your body will throw them up, otherwise doctors will just give you something to force you to throw it all up. All it will really do is kill brain cells and damage your liver. Cutting isn’t a good idea either, you’d need to lose a lot of blood, cut in the right spot, and the correct way. The way people do it in movies is the wrong way, that’s as much as I know.
I’m not going to tell you everything will get better or that you need to stop trying to end your life. In the end it’s your right and your choice and sometimes people are in situations that are/or seem impossible to deal with. I do however hope you pull through somehow, you deserve the best.
Also, I’d hug you on the spot if I could and if I manage to die and if God is actually on the other side, I’ll at least try to punch him in the throat for you if that’s any consolation.
Hi Ghosty, you are obviously not dumb, just from your post. I hear your frustration with the culture you’re living in. I smile at your spirit to rage against it. That spirit will carry you through, I believe, and give you the strength to carry on, hopefully finding ways to express your feelings that could eventually reap positive benefits for yourself and other girls and women. Raising awareness of the unequal treatment and injustice, etc.
But in saying that, please don’t think I’m minimising or dismissing how difficult your situation is. In any case, remember we are here to listen and thank you for telling your story.
I hope at some point you will feel able to give college another try. Emotional turmoil can wreck our attempts to learn, sometimes the time just isn’t right. Learning is something we can do throughout life and you sound like a bright girl to me.
Love, Z X
Hey ghosty i know little about the muslim stuff.there is a pretty girl in my class that nobody would talk to because she has this thing to cover her head and wouldnt get loved by any one.but i dont believe anyone deserve to continue like that.there are many classy and fun loving muslem organisation where i come from.muslem girls are taken for articles that could be sold in the bride market,{if there is anything like that}the truth is that you need to see the world.far from the scarf wielding country.just dont give up because of someone else religion..ad me up on facebook.azuka stephen.or scribe81@yahoo.com..would love to hear more from ya thats if you never get the right suicide technique
I surely hope you get out of the bondage you are now living in. Surely you must leave the situation or find something that will work…
Thank you for your kind words but I don’t think I can graduate. my IQ is 105.
IQ doesn’t mean anything, I bet I’d be in the below average category if I took a real one. It’s really easy to forget things you learn if you never use them, I remember virtually nothing from Calculus or things like that, IQ tests are a joke.