I’ve had suicidal thoughts before, but I’ve always turned to my faith in God and he has brought me out of it. Just recently, a girl who I love so very much, more so than any relationship I have been in before, left me for another man. I have nothing, I would have done anything for her. I did my usual coping methods, drowning out my sorrow with loud music, getting rid of my anger with violent video games, and even turning to God again. Yet this time, when I turned to him, I didnt feel anything. I’ve never questioned my faith before, but now I am. I don’t want to lose faith, because it is the only thing keeping me going. Use all the cliches you want to use on me, I just need a friend, even if its one I dont know on the internet.
21 comments
Hello. Need a random internet friend?
Glad to see you looked through my post and saw that I need a friend. Yes I would like that. 🙂
-Dark
I’m sorry to hear that. I have questioned my faith many many many times. I realized that I dont care what it is that I believe in. I’m agnostic so I guess I dont have a specific organized religion, but I have to believe in something. Not necessarily a God, just something watching over us and somewhere to go when we die. I dont know, or particularly care where it is, but I need to know that there is something. So maybe you can question your faith in God, just so long as you have faith in something. To me, my faith lies in music and art. Those keep me going each day. I hope I helped and if I offended you in any way, I’m sorry. 🙂
You have not offended me at all. Im glad to see that someone who does not necesarily believe in my God finds passion elsewhere. I have yet to find a faith in something else, so I will keep my faith in God, for he works in mysterious ways. And he has always come through for me in the end. If I’ve learned anything, the most important thing about faith is that you keep it in times of darkness and light.
-Dark
Love sucks, bro.
You’re obviously a man of faith.
With that being said, I’m not.
However, a lot of times, one door closes, so another door can open.
I don’t think god is ignoring you.
I think he has faith in you finding your own way while hr supervises.
Don’t lose your faith, bud.
That’s the most preachy I’ll ever fucking be.
Hah.
Your comment has proven to me that God works through people, you stating that you are not a man of faith, yet still preaching to me, has shown that God has not abandoned me. I thank you for that. One act of kindness can help someone.
-Dark
I have faith too which sometimes I’m in danger of losing Dark Instinct. It sometimes just seems that God goes very quiet on us and when we’re angry at what life is handing out to us we sometimes turn our anger on God.
I believe he/she understands this and doesn’t strike us with a thunderbolt but waits patiently for us and maybe with us, through the storm of suffering.
We’re listening Dark Instinct. You are not as alone as you feel.
Zoe X
I feel the need to respond to each of you individually, because ya’ll took the time out or your lives to talk to me personally. I thank you for that Zoe. Your response has resonated with me and I understand what you’re saying. Thank you for helping me.
-Dark
2 Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the fish’s belly. 2 And he said:
“I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction,
And He answered me.
“Out of the belly of Sheol I cried,
And You heard my voice.
3 For You cast me into the deep,
Into the heart of the seas,
And the floods surrounded me;
All Your billows and Your waves passed over me.
4 Then I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight;
Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’
5 The waters surrounded me, even to my soul;
The deep closed around me;
Weeds were wrapped around my head.
6 I went down to the moorings of the mountains;
The earth with its bars closed behind me forever;
Yet You have brought up my life from the pit,
O Lord, my God.
7 “When my soul fainted within me,
I remembered the Lord;
And my prayer went up to You,
Into Your holy temple.
8 “Those who regard worthless idols
Forsake their own Mercy.
9 But I will sacrifice to You
With the voice of thanksgiving;
I will pay what I have vowed.
Salvation is of the Lord.â€
10 So the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
(Jonah 2, nkjv)
The bible really does have all the answers. Thank you for posting.
-Dark
They say the lord works in mysterious ways … perhaps god sent the man to test this woman’s virtue to see if she was worthy of you – she failed … not you. so god has faith that at this time you can recover and move forward knowing she did not meet the high standard god has for your mate.
old geezer saying “better sooner rather than later” you are open and free. enjoy, don’t despair
dawg
I dont mean to call you out, but this girl… I love her more than anything. I dont understand why God would send a temptation to her, wouldn’t that be the work of Satan? Pushing me to thoughts of suicide in hope that I dont carry on, and relinquish my soul to him?
-Dark
@Dark Instinct: Think of her as another “you” with a different personality, life experience, and perspective. She has the same autonomy that you enjoy, the same choices to make, the same ability to analyze and understand things. And the same ability to make dumb decisions. God does what He does, but what can He change? Can He sever your autonomy? Probably not, although he can push you in certain directions. Things like this are the catalyst for personal growth. Learn what you can, and don’t worry too much about assigning blame. It’s not your fault, not the girl’s fault, not God’s fault. It’s just what’s happened.
Well maybe that girl wasnt worthy of you
Feel free to call me out – would it not stand to reason, that if god know all, that he would know she was temptable? and if she is temptable now, imagine how much worse it would be if she were tempted after marriage or even living together. satan is powerful but I think in someways god can still manipulate him to do his bad things for good purposes. you love her for what she appeared to you to be – but not for what she really is … if you’d have known on day one that she would cheat and leave you but before she did she would give you a year or two of perfect love and devotion, would you still have loved? I’m betting not. so she never was that perfect love she portrayed to you – simply – she lied.
i find that the times we are lost in the pit of despair we “find” thing we’ve lost or forgotten … you will “find” your faith, or resolve or strength or hope – and it will be your ladder back to the light of life.
dawg
Thank you for enlightening me. I really appreciate it.
-Dark
Dawg i thought you were a nonbeliever
@nba – true – I am a non believer – but this is not the time or the place for that debate – it has no relevance here on this thread
schedule dawg
It does if your preaching
Not preaching – explaining and enlightening withing the constraints of the construct – BIG difference … again – not the time not the place – drop it HERE – you want this debate – start your own thread
dawg
You’re welcome:)
dawg