Living with Bipolar: 6 years and counting.

Hi guys, this is my first time on here and I need to just spill so…here goes. I have Bipolar Disorder and have been in and out of therapists and psychiatrists since I was 12. I’ve been through cutting and numerous suicide attempts, all of which involved overdosing. It’s been probably 3 years since I have actually attempted (I’m19 now) and within those 3 years, I actually had a fairly happy–and medicated–period. No suicide attempts, nothing. However, I can feel myself sliding back to that horrible, dark place that I spent so much of my early teenage years in. That place where everything is dark and there is no apparent reason to keep on going as miserable as you are. The difference between then and now is how I cope. I cut myself then, I drink now. I didn’t think anything of my drinking–hell, I’m a college kid, everyone I know drinks–until I started blacking out every single night. Drinking until I couldn’t remember hooking up or coming home, if I even did. Drinking with friends, drinking alone. I’m sliding back into that dark place and I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t sleep unless I’m passed out drunk. I have a bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of skyy and I just don’t know what to do anymore. Help.