The needle for your soul and the steel and concrete for your body: double-barreled hell. It is known as desolation unknown. And yet, somehow, I don’t know how, it is known. From this perspective, it would be rather nice to have my brains blown out. So I used self torture as a focus to distract from desolation unknown, my only rule was: do not tear the skin. I urinated on my feet to keep them warm, but at least I had urine. Because after two days, I was given water. It makes very little difference if you are on the inside or if you are on the outside, when you are not free on the inside. For those without the gift of self expression, I imagine the healing might not be possible. For without the gift of self expression, I would not have the all of you to support me. And this is how I know, we are all TRULY connected. God takes the good, with the bad, and the ugly. “There is no such thing as God.” That statement makes absolutely no sense! Unless of course, you, like me, BELIEVE in God.